Lew Bundles Posted August 13, 2022 Share Posted August 13, 2022 I have recovered the reel which was considered an alternate take for Godfather 2… Here it is… DON CORLEONE-“ The evening to settle all family business is here…Let’s go over your assignments and make sure everything is in place…Michael, did the invitations go out to the heads of the other families and their wives and have you booked the theater for tonight and does all their staff understand that they are “ill” for the evening and they are not to report to work? MICHAEL-“ “We are all set, father” DON- “And Tom how about your end of it”? TOM-“Johnny Fontaine will be at the theater this evening ready to “meat and greet” all of the other Don’s wives in the lobby while the Jew boy is on stage singing one of his crybaby songs CLEMENZA- “I will be in the box office and make sure no one gets in other than the families and their wives”… TESSIO- “I got plenty of the extra liquid to pour into the dames drinks…Guarantee that they will run to the bathroom to empty out their dolly holes…” PANTANGELI- I got my part ready to go…I usher all the heads to their seats, get their wives to the lobby to meet Fontaine, and come back and get ready to open the doors to let Sonny and the muscle in to take care of business”… LUCA-“…”Once the wives are in the powder room, I block the door to make sure they can’t get out to witness a thing” SONNY- “I got our tops guys ready to come in blasting” FREDO- “I got that photograph and will take care of my end of it..,” DON” Bastante-Make sure you all report back here at the end of the night…We have one more task that Fredo may need help on..,” LATER THAT EVENING… TOM-“Positions everyone “… THE EVENING WENT LIKE CLOCKWORK… ONE BY ONE-THEY ARRIVED AFTER THEY PASSED THROUGH THE BOX OFFICE WINDOW, CLEMENZA stepped to the front door and locked it making sure no one else entered… FRANKIE PANTANGELI USHERED THE MEN TO THEIR SEATS AND TOOK THE THEIR WIVES TO MEET AND HAVE DRINKS WITH HEARTTHROB JOHNNY FONTAINE… … TESSIO (THE BARTENDER) PILED ON THE LIQUID AND WITHIN A FEW MINUTES, THE FIRST MAFIA PRINCESS YELPED… WIFE-“ “I gotta piss like a race horse…Poor horse that they cut his head off and put him in that a-holes bed…He’ll never know how good it feels to piss again…Anybody wanna come with me?” WIVES IN UNISON-“We’ll all go” AFTER THE WIVES FILED INTO THE BATHROOM, LUCA BRAZI stepped in front of the bathroom door to make sure the women didn’t get out to witness their husbands massacre… ONCE PANTANGELI GOT BACK INTO THE THEATER TO TAKE HIS POSITION AT THE DOORWAY…TOM HAGEN TOOK THE STAGE TO START THE SHOW… TOM-“Good evening and welcome to Radio City Music Hall…Before Johnny Fontaine begins, we have a wonderful opening act, a singer that will absolutely knock you dead tonight…Let’s here it for Eric Carmelino…” ERIC- “Thank you”… STRACCI -“ This half a fag is making me cry” CUNIO WAS THE FIRST MOBSTER TO COMPLETELY BREAK DOWN… Followed by Stracci, DiTallia and Barzini… AS THE FAMILY DON’S REACHED FOR THEIR HANDKERCHIEFS, PANTANGELI SWUNG THE THEATER DOORS WIDE OPEN, LETTING SONNY AND HIS HIT MEN ENTER AND WITH AN ARRAY OF GUNFIRE, MOWED DOWN ALL THE HEADS OF THE RIVAL CRIME FAMILIES… SONNY-“Back to see pops, boys…” LATER THAT EVENING, BACK AT DON CORLEONE’S HOUSE…TOM TOLD THE DON THAT TODAY WE SETTLED ALL FAMILY BUSINESSDON CORLEONE-“Although, we have eradicated Cunio, Ditalia, Barzini and Stracci, we have one more piece of business to attend to..,Fredo, bring him in… FREDO-“ “Here he is boss…I picked him up outside Radio City trying to get into the show…Just like you said that he would show up… SONNY-“ “What the fuck is Neil Diamond doing here?”… DON-“His name is Bernie…Raspbernie… Every place that Carmen sings, I knew that this guy would try to show up.” BERNIE-““What do you guys want with me?… DON-“ It seems that we need a a favor from you…It seems that our friend Lew Bundles has been trying to be a moderator for your ericcarmen. Com website, but you continuously turn him down…Today-He becomes a moderator … BERNIE-“ And if I refuse?” DON-“Okay…Bring him in… THE DOOR SWINGS WIDE OPEN AND IN ENTERS WITH ball and chain… DON-““I know that you’ve been wondering why Batman disappeared from your website…Well, now you know…He is in our possession…If you don’t let Lew be a moderator, more will follow…Your call, Bernie…”Shall it be James next or your beloved Kirk?… HOLY PREDICAMENT…WILL BERNIE RISK THE DISAPPEARANCES OF JAMES, KIRK OR OTHERS…? IS THIS THE REAL REASON WHY HE MAY SHUT THE BOARD DOWN AGAIN…? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted August 14, 2022 Share Posted August 14, 2022 Lew, for a dude who doesn´t have his own harem, you´re allright. ( p.s. your story here was one of the best ever! ) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirk Posted August 14, 2022 Share Posted August 14, 2022 I'm kinda scared... Funny, I found myself reading this in all of their real voices LOL! 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted August 14, 2022 Share Posted August 14, 2022 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 Bravo Lew, Bravo.... But dolly holes? HA! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted August 14, 2022 Share Posted August 14, 2022 Lew, your skits here are like a luxury product. They are the best. As a marketing (and all other stuff) guru, I recommend you start charging big bucks to allow the rabble to read your stories here. Like a luxury good, the high price will attract more consumers as the high price will convey to them how great are your strories. And they are greatly entertaining. Of course, in return for this marketing advice, I will expect to be able to view your stories for free. Also, you WILL become Moderator. And at that time I will expect a cushy job in Moderatorville.....you know, one, like in Washington D.C. of 2022, where I can get rich while doing nothing but calling everyone a racist. Heh. Can´t wait ! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
susie b Posted August 14, 2022 Share Posted August 14, 2022 18 hours ago, Kirk said: I'm kinda scared... Not to worry. I called a girl who has a passion for kicking Italian butt after they tried to crucify her... Just ask Caesar, Brutus, Pompey & Crassus. She took out Amazons and has the power to kill gods... just ask Artemis or Athena... Oops, she killed 'em. Have secretly contacted Batman. He's working the inside for the divine Miss X. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
susie b Posted August 14, 2022 Share Posted August 14, 2022 She's getting ready... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lew Bundles Posted August 14, 2022 Author Share Posted August 14, 2022 Those chicks don’t stand a chance… 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
susie b Posted August 14, 2022 Share Posted August 14, 2022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted August 14, 2022 Share Posted August 14, 2022 Saturday morning ISIS was the hottest Super Chick of them all. Bionic Woman is a strong runner-up. James - ....yes, he has spoken. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
susie b Posted August 14, 2022 Share Posted August 14, 2022 X killed the goddess of the hunt, the goddess war, wisdom & weaving, and she has the god of war on a short leash. Cumpàs don't stand a chance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
susie b Posted August 14, 2022 Share Posted August 14, 2022 She knows and understands evil, because she was evil. Redeemed to become an archangel, she sent Lucifer to Hell and defeated Mephistopheles. She'll send these bastards to Hell, too. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raspbernie Posted August 15, 2022 Share Posted August 15, 2022 Read my lips...no new moderators. 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted August 15, 2022 Share Posted August 15, 2022 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted August 15, 2022 Share Posted August 15, 2022 Don´t fret Lew, Bernie is sneaky. Like Bush I, Bernie will break his promise, and you will be in....like Flynn! Heh. P.S. if you look up the origin of the phrase "in like Flynn" ...your face will turn red. : ) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raspbernie Posted August 15, 2022 Share Posted August 15, 2022 On 8/13/2022 at 8:13 PM, Kirk said: I'm kinda scared... Funny, I found myself reading this in all of their real voices LOL! What did you use for my voice...mine or Neil Diamond's? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary Ellen Posted August 17, 2022 Share Posted August 17, 2022 Lew, You are truly “too weird to live, too rare to die.” H.S. Thompson or Panic at the Disco, depending on your reference point. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary Ellen Posted August 17, 2022 Share Posted August 17, 2022 What a fun post, Lew. It’s a compliment! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirk Posted August 17, 2022 Share Posted August 17, 2022 On 8/15/2022 at 1:43 PM, Raspbernie said: What did you use for my voice...mine or Neil Diamond's? 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted August 18, 2022 Share Posted August 18, 2022 Truth is as I scrolled down Lew´s story, very slowly, reading every line closely to make sure I took it all in, ...and Neil Diamond was mentioned....then as I scrolled a photo of Bernie came up.....I almost fell out of my chair laughing. Don´t know why exactly, I guess it was because Lew´s timing on that was perfect ! 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vinnie B Trask Posted August 23, 2022 Share Posted August 23, 2022 There are, of course some issues with your story. Revisions are in order! 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lew Bundles Posted August 24, 2022 Author Share Posted August 24, 2022 Not trying to be offensive, I figured mob guys talked like that in those days.., Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raspbernie Posted August 24, 2022 Share Posted August 24, 2022 I deleted the offensive word. Let's not go there, even in parody. 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vinnie B Trask Posted August 24, 2022 Share Posted August 24, 2022 Eric Neil and Bill Shatner thank you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doreen Posted August 25, 2022 Share Posted August 25, 2022 so glad to be back 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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