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Bad news for all...


Lew Bundles

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According to the latest tallies , I am, approx, 7800 posts away from the all-time post leader here...This means that I may be ramping up my assault on this board...

These numbers may be erroneous though...

I did notice a misspelling under my name...Bernie mistakenly spelled “moderator” as “m-e-m-b-e-r”...

 

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They actually are erroneous, I remember some years ago an adjustment was made on our number of posts, think it related to the new "year joined" for members, or something. I know for sure my # of posts changed.

And,...ahem......as for the mistaken spelling of "moderator", there´s no doubt that is a mistake, though it may be on purpose, as "member" (as in "chicks like my member")  is much more polite than calling you a "weiner", Lew.

: )

P.S. Bundles for moderator!...´nuff said.

 

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Lew, just some advice prior to you becoming Moderator. Some things I´ve learned in Panamá since moving here, and learned via watching current day politics in the USA.

First, use your power for $s. Threaten guys like Kirk and Vinnie, that if they don´t cough up some loot, that you will delete their posts. 

You see I´ve learned, with power, comes the ability to make a bunch of money!...why work producing a great product or service (working is hard!)....when you can scam your way to millions!!

You may also threaten lurking chicks that if they don´t cough up some substantial cash, that you will ban me (James) from the board. That threat alone could get you to billionaire status.

And if you promise not to delete my Sophie Marceau boob photos that I post, I will not let on that I´m wise to your scamming. 

Sí.....:wacko:......es un círculo vicioso.

James

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A FEW YEARS BACK, I HAD AN INTERVIEW ABOUT CHANGES THAT I WOULD IMPLEMENT IF I GOT SOME AUTHORITY AROUND HERE:

ALTHOUGH, SOME OF THE NAMES MAY BE DATED, THE CONCEPTS ARE SOUND ...I PRESENT TO YOU:

 

Lew Bundles

Posted May 22, 2014


QUESTION: Now that you have been appointed moderator, what changes can we look forward to?
LEW: We will try to make this as seamless a transition as possible...I have outlined some of the major changes:

 

#1-PAY TO POST...We will be instituting a "Pay To Post" mandate on the board...All the money collected will be used to fund transportation to future Raspberries reunion concerts...Any needy registered fans can apply for the grant...We will start the "PAY FOR POST" program on a trial basis with BIRDY, CAYENNE, ANNE NR, PAPERDOLL...(They are a natural starting point since they are the most frequent posters)...The charge will be 1 cent per letter and invoices will be sent out at the end of the month with checks to be made out to "Lew Bundles" within the next billing cycle.

 

#2-NEW TOPIC HEADINGS...We will create new thought provoking headings which are sure to stimulate discussion during Raspberriesless periods...(Topics, therefore will remain up for 30 years at a time)...Examples of topics...

 

A.) The American Indian-From Navajo to Patel.
B.) Driving through the Ahmish country with your lights off.
C.) Everybody "Wang Chunging" this evening?

#3-WAB attendance will be by invitation only...NO EXCEPTION...(While we appreciate Jim,Eric and the crew's participation, please, dont attend unless you are formally invited by me)..."NO INVITATION,NO PARTICIPATION"...(P.S....The name of the event will now be changed to "WEEKEND AT BUNDLES"...This gives us the ability to still sell the WAB memoribilia that BERNIE has slated for next years event)...

Other changes will not seem so obvious...For instance:

.
Everyone's second favorite singer will now be Desi Arnaz...
All posts must begin with the word "Crouton"...(You will not be charged for this)...

QUESTION: How about the new Cabinet members that you had alluded to in previous posts?
LEW: I'm glad you asked that,Bim...
All selections are on a 30 day, trial based, appointment basis...

Here are my appointees:

Sec.of Foreign Affairs-MARVIN...He wil keep track of all foreigners on the board and report to me when they are having affairs...Since Marvin is an alien, I believe he is the most qualified to monitor suspicious activity in our immigrant posters...So be it, Adventurine, wmvririezen or ,canadianchick ... BEWARE...Marvin will be watching you...(P.S....Kiwi and Muzza are married...They are immune unless they start to philander with another...)

Sec. of Secretaries...JAMES...By the way he has been able to ,suavely, take LEWISA away from me, I trust his judgement in hot women...Since I will need a Secretary, James will scour the board for the lady with the highest credentials to adorn Lew's lap and take dictation...(Sorry, girls, NO BEA ARTHUR types or any other Bea's (including Aunt Bee or Bea Benaderet) ...With those paramaters in mind, ladies, get your resumes into James as quickly as possible...(Mustaches are ok as long as they are neat and trimmed...And for any Chinese applicants, please, no pieces of cat from your last meal in your facial hair)...

Secretary of the Interior...Tony Cartmill...He will be in charge of ridding this kingdom of village idiots...I will give him a starter list of possible candidates and see how Tony justifies their idiocy or lack thereof...The initial list-

 

SAWALKER

SHELLEY

MARLENE

KIRK

Mind you, I am not claiming that any of these people are village idiots...I want to see Tony's grading method and will make the proper decision from there...This is strictly a trial list...

Court Jester...Tommy Tunes...Many of you do not know Tommy Tunes...We need him back here...Paul Mccartney once said that Jude could" take a sad song and make it better"...Well, TT(AS WE REFER TO HIM) can take any goofy situation and make it worse...Originally, I was going to hold the position of court jester, but upon studying his picture(TT is pictured in my avatar), I realized that he looked funnier than I did in the grass skirt...I promise, that if TT takes the position, we will re-shoot the photo wearing the traditional Court Jester outfit but only modernized, all tight, tight,  green spandex and bells.. then you will really see a couple  of "nuts"...

SPRITUAL ADVISOR...Muzza(obvious)

That about wraps up my preliminary findings...

I will be away from my computer for the next couple of weeks while I finish my move into the Sayreville complex...On that note, I'd like to thank Bernie for all that he has done for us here at EC.com and I'm sure that he will land on his feet somewhere...As soon as you find a new place to live Bern, let us know so we can get your honorary invitation to the next WAB mailed out to your new address...

Thanks everyone for your support, LEW 

 5

 

Quote

 

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Oh these EC.com poets are so fickle.  

In one post I'm a genius.

In another post, I'm a member of the mob...

 

Geez Louise.

 

Oh, and Kirk, they are just jealous because we get to be away from the mob with our beautiful horses on the farms.

Neighhhhture is a good thing.

🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎

 

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Genius poets, call it like it is, ..sometimes favorable to the mob-istas, sometimes not. Depends on where the truth falls.

There have been many great pairs in history, geniuses, but mocked (or worse) by their contemporaries.....just for being true to themselves.

For example:

Adam and Eve
Marc Antony & Cleopatra
Julius Caesar & Cleopatra
Peter and Paul
Henry VIII and Wilt Chamberlain
Voltaire and his virtual harem of Kings and Queens and Emperors and Empresses
Trump, Pence 2020
Bundles/James 2024

 





 

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Karen contacted me after reading my post. Actually, she texted me a poem, here it is:

Hi James of harem fame,
My name is Karen Valentine.
And I have a new goal.
I want to make you mine.

You see, Lew is cool,
He can make chicks swoon,
but I have loftier goals,
I want to go to the moon.

Hark!, James, you are the one,
To be my astronaut,
One look in your eyes,
Get´s working my G-Spot.

Behold! I demand,
Entry into The James Harem,
Your HR denies me?
Heh, I dare´m.


Karen Valentine, 2022
 

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