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Packing up mom’s house…


Lew Bundles

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My brother’s and I have sold my mom’s house and are in the process of fixing/cleaning the place out…It’s a very stressful and melancholy experience…Closing has been pushed back a few times when new problems pop up…Getting ready for the inevitable fights amongst the siblings over the “I want this andI want  that” phase…

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Mom wants to stay in the house even tho we all think she should not be alone. I’ve asked her several times to move in with me. Said I’d put in stairlifts etc… but no. So even tho  the funeral is over I guess I’ll be spending lots of time over there. There’s so much junk to go thru and get rid of. My dad wanted the garage cleaned out and the stuff in it given away or sold. We need to go thru her finances  I think she should get one of us  appointed power of attorney, etc…. So much to still think of and get done. And now she keeps saying she won’t be here much longer herself. She’s starting to give away possessions- gave me her diamond. I can see the sibling wars coming as well, Lew. 

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It's a big process, especially when you have depression-era parents. My sister and I spent several years (part time) cleaning everything out- we didn't want to gloss over any family treasures. Funny story- my sister and I agonized about throwing anything away. Finally, after much deliberation, we took the first item out to the trash can. Just as we were getting ready to drop it in, the phone rings! The phone had been disconnected for months!! My sister rushes to answer it and there is nobody there. Just dead air. No dial tone, nothing. We looked at each other in amazement, had a good chuckle, and started the journey that you're about to embark on. Good luck with it, Lew. It can be cathartic, also. 

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Yes Lew 

Things always always get out of hand when it comes to a parent death who gets this and who deserves that.

I always found that the relative that gave the most care and support  especially but not limited to the end of their life  seem to get less than they should have got. 

So the fights begin

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15 hours ago, Doreen said:

Mom wants to stay in the house even tho we all think she should not be alone. I’ve asked her several times to move in with me. Said I’d put in stairlifts etc… but no. So even tho  the funeral is over I guess I’ll be spending lots of time over there. There’s so much junk to go thru and get rid of. My dad wanted the garage cleaned out and the stuff in it given away or sold. We need to go thru her finances  I think she should get one of us  appointed power of attorney, etc…. So much to still think of and get done. And now she keeps saying she won’t be here much longer herself. She’s starting to give away possessions- gave me her diamond. I can see the sibling wars coming as well, Lew. 

Yes Doreen, that would likely occur and should be expected in terms of sibling arguments.

If it is financially and some what safely possible ,you should leave mom in the house even it is not the best thing to do. Even it is for a year or two,

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Not fun. I had to do the same thing a couple of years ago, Lew. After everything was sorted out, there were a dozen or so boxes with her stuff left. I remember saying, that's it? Eight plus decades of a life crammed into a few boxes. It was sobering to say the least.

Bernie

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