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A Modest Fundraising Proposal for Bernie


susie b

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I don't think that is the true reason that you wear a mask...Catwoman has spread it around town that you are quite the looker! We know that you don't want the James girls to defect & interfere with your crime fighting once they get a good look at you...
 
 But...the mask adds that sexy mystery...kind of a Zorro vibe!

meow...

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When Gina and I were still dating,we were shopping at the Amishland mall in Tuscola,Il. and I saw a painting of a little boy with his black & white dog out in the snow.I told her it reminded me of my half collie,Tippy,(who I had from ages 6-22) and how he would wait with me for the schoolbus when we lived out in the country.Naturally I got that painting for Christmas that year.I've never gone more than a couple weeks without a dog since I was 6.

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Well, she really likes sitting on the couch listening to soft relaxing music like Keane or sometimes Travis. Agatha and Max, on the other hand like music that gets them fired up and both, being of Scottish descent, really get into Big Country. Poor Aggie had an accident on her doggie bed this evening while we were out at the Illini tennis home opener.

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To Whom It May Concern,

It has come to our attention that a calendar is in production that features our client, a Mr. Lewis J. Bundles, as one of your August feature photos. We ask as his "legal" representation that you cease and desist from using his name or likeness, in relation to this promotional campaign, It should be brought to your attention that Mr. Bundles has been retained and contracted to exclusively represent our company who manages the famous touring entertainment troupe, the Chubbydales.

Anticipatory Thanks.

Robb "Robot Shlomo/CaptainHarlock" G
Partner; The Firm of Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe. 

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Damn !...the rest of us model dudes were depending on Lew.  We were.  Depending on Lew to get Tony Cartmill back here and up into the calendar.  It´s true. Lew was our vehicle to get Tony back here.

 ...You see with Lew in the calendar as a point of comparison, Tony could ONLY look great !.....without Lew, ummm, well......

:(

Harlock, how much propina $s will it take for you to get Lew back in the calendar??????????????????????????

 

 

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James,
As a professional model, I can tell you that this is the oldest contract renegotiation trick in the book.
We will not cave, no matter how sexy Lew is.

Lew,
 Glad that you could provide employment for the Firm of Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe. I know they've been struggling since the retirement of The Magliozzi Brothers, Tom & Ray. If your are still looking to add to your staff, the following have been collecting benefits (don't tell James) since the Magliozzis left the business:

Business Forecaster, Luigi Bord
Chairman, Underemployment Study Group, Art Majors
Air Traffic Controller, Ulanda U. Lucky
Bad Joke Interpreter, Nadia Geddit
Russian Chauffeur, Picov Andropov
Head of Working Mother Support Group, Erasmus B. Dragon

So, either I give Tunsey all of August, which I think he can handle, or I replace you, "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named"...Who are you...Lord Voldemort.

Darlene tells me that Craig Benfer is HOT, and he's local in PA, so I can go check him out. I already know he's super intelligent. I mean, my calendar does have standards.

Must be hot & smart to be in my calendar,

Susie

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So, Captain Harlock...

I don't know you, yet, other than you are a shrewd negotiator. 

Is it possible that you are trying to usurp Lew's August spot for yourself?

I think I'm going to have to call upon the fine legal mind of Raspathens for the calendar's side of this dilemma. This Vandy girl knows that nothing beats having a good Southern barrister on your team!

Our girl will call your girl.

Susie

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  • 2 weeks later...

Ok guys...Info packets for the photo shoots are in the mail. We are asking you to attend a model boot camp with one Christie Brinkley.

Please guys, try your best and make me proud. Perfect your pouts & square those shoulders. Practice those longing gazes. And don't give Ms. Brinkley any trouble.

We have made a special "agreement" with one Ms. Hillary on behalf of our Mr. July. She promises no interference or jealous rages, in exchange for a handsome campaign donation.

Hillary has also been told that Ms. Brinkley has carte blanche to use that lovely Total Gym body to evict Hillary in the event of any outbursts. Chuck Norris has also been retained to assist Ms. Brinkley in maintaining a peaceful photo shoot.

We are still trying to iron out our August dilemma...but it looks good...Do to overwhelming demand, we must pay the pesos to wrestle Lew from the grasp of his wiley attorney.

We will also be welcoming Tommy & Craig for August.  Hey, who doesn't want a photo of these handsome guys poolside with cocktails?

Will post more details soon.

Susie

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I must inform you that, while details can be worked out with my attorney for my appearance, my manager is insisting that I appear alone for my month...I have carefully cultivated an image of a " independent, brooding hulk" and cannot be displayed with any other person...I do everything alone...whether it's tug-of-war or lovemaking, solo it is...

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Ok Lew,

So, now I have to bump Tommy & Craig? Never thought that YOU would be the prima donna.

Ok fine...you are worth it, but Tommy & Craig will still have a place of honor, just in another month.

I do hesitate to ask....but if you are solo during lovemaking...where does that leave Lewisa? Oh, that's right...she's nestled happily in the muscular arms of our dear James...our sensationally hot Mr. July...the fireman!

Now, if all of your demands have been met, will you attend boot camp?

Or do you need 5 cases of Evian with grapes peeled by 5 virgins waiting in your suite?

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