NEW MODERATER/

[Lew Bundles]

BERNIE...The pressure is mounting...With EC.COM  being truly international in scope, I  have heard from all corners of the globe and have been pressured by the true bastions of the democratic process to let the voters do the talking,,,We have heard from many political dignitaries from far reaching lands like Cuba, Russia and Panama(Castro, Putin and James) respectively, and all have stressed that the belief in the rank and file vote leads to a spirit of co-operation amongst the masses and invigorates the members of  said community:  THEREFORE: Bernie...I implore you to honor the results of the following election and I will abide by the decision in my typically most honorable and humble application...

 

 

A few years ago, I  actively campaigning for the job of ec.com moderater and held a press conference upon my appointment...Bernie had given me the job, but rescinded the offer shortly thereafter:(the timing may not have been right)...Here is the transcript of that event...

QUESTION: Now that you have been appointed moderator, what changes can we look forward to?
LEW: We will try to make this as seamless a transition as possible...I have outlined some of the major changes:

 

#1-PAY TO POST...We will be instituting a "Pay To Post" mandate on the board...All the money collected will be used to fund transportation to future Raspberries reunion concerts...Any needy registered fans can apply for the grant...We will start the "PAY FOR POST" program on a trial basis with BIRDY, CAYENNE, ANNE NR, PAPERDOLL...(They are a natural starting point since they are the most frequent posters)...The charge will be 1 cent per letter and invoices will be sent out at the end of the month with checks to be made out to "Lew Bundles" within the next billing cycle.

 

#2-NEW TOPIC HEADINGS...We will create new thought provoking headings which are sure to stimulate discussion during Raspberriesless periods...(Topics, therefore will remain up for 30 years at a time)...Examples of topics...

 

A.) The American Indian-From Navajo to Patel.
B.) Driving through the Ahmish country with your lights off.
C.) Everybody "Wang Chunging" this evening?

#3-WAB attendance will be by invitation only...NO EXCEPTION...(While we appreciate Jim,Eric and the crew's participation, please, dont attend unless you are formally invited by me)..."NO INVITATION,NO PARTICIPATION"...(P.S....The name of the event will now be changed to "WEEKEND AT BUNDLES"...This gives us the ability to still sell the WAB memoribilia that BERNIE has slated for next years event)...

Other changes will not seem so obvious...For instance:

.
Everyone's second favorite singer will now be Desi Arnaz...
All posts must begin with the word "Crouton"...(You will not be charged for this)...

QUESTION: How about the new Cabinet members that you had alluded to in previous posts?
LEW: I'm glad you asked that,Bim...
All selections are on a 30 day, trial based, appointment basis...

Here are my appointees:

Sec.of Foreign Affairs-MARVIN...He wil keep track of all foreigners on the board and report to me when they are having affairs...Since Marvin is an alien, I believe he is the most qualified to monitor suspicious activity in our immigrant posters...So be it, Adventurine, wmvririezen or ,canadianchick ... BEWARE...Marvin will be watching you...(P.S....Kiwi and Muzza are married...They are immune unless they start to philander with another...)

Sec. of Secretaries...JAMES...By the way he has been able to ,suavely, take LEWISA away from me, I trust his judgement in hot women...Since I will need a Secretary, James will scour the board for the lady with the highest credentials to adorn Lew's lap and take dictation...(Sorry, girls, NO BEA ARTHUR types or any other Bea's (including Aunt Bee or Bea Benaderet) ...With those paramaters in mind, ladies, get your resumes into James as quickly as possible...(Mustaches are ok as long as they are neat and trimmed...And for any Chinese applicants, please, no pieces of cat from your last meal in your facial hair)...

Secretary of the Interior...Tony Cartmill...He will be in charge of ridding this kingdom of village idiots...I will give him a starter list of possible candidates and see how Tony justifies their idiocy or lack thereof...The initial list-

 

SAWALKER

SHELLEY

MARLENE

KIRK

Mind you, I am not claiming that any of these people are village idiots...I want to see Tony's grading method and will make the proper decision from there...This is strictly a trial list...

Court Jester...Tommy Tunes...Many of you do not know Tommy Tunes...We need him back here...Paul Mccartney once said that Jude could" take a sad song and make it better"...Well, TT(AS WE REFER TO HIM) can take any goofy situation and make it worse...Originally, I was going to hold the position of court jester, but upon studying his picture(TT is pictured in my avatar), I realized that he looked funnier than I did in the grass skirt...I promise, that if TT takes the position, we will re-shoot the photo wearing the traditional Court Jester outfit but only modernized, all tight, tight,  green spandex and bells.. then you will really see a couple  of "nuts"...

SPRITUAL ADVISOR...Muzza(obvious)

That about wraps up my preliminary findings...

I will be away from my computer for the next couple of weeks while I finish my move into the Sayreville complex...On that note, I'd like to thank Bernie for all that he has done for us here at EC.com and I'm sure that he will land on his feet somewhere...As soon as you find a new place to live Bern, let us know so we can get your honorary invitation to the next WAB mailed out to your new address...

Thanks everyone for your support, LEW 

 

 

[Shelley]

As one of the village Idiots..I am not touching that survey with a ten foot poll  ...As for the Marvin issue, this village idiot thinks it has "Gone all the way" and needs to be put to rest.

Carry on Lew

[James]

Actually the job description of my ministry post (to find a bimbo for Lew) has become moot.  Marlene has been performing this job at a high level for many moons now.

 

[James]

..but Lew, if you need a chick to wave palm leaves over you to keep you cool, ...AnneNR would be a good fit....I can get her for cheap.  She´s naturally subservient and would be a perfect fit for the job. 

 

Her only negative is there is a high risk she may want to "do more" than just wave palms for you, if you know what I mean.

 

Chicks are never content.

 

[Tim From Wisconsin]

We have 4 people who help to moderate things already (Eric, Bernie, Diane, and me) + we have Ted / mannoman in the wings.

 

I think a 6th person would be a bit much - We love you though Lew!

 

Tim

[AnneNR]

..but Lew, if you need a chick to wave palm leaves over you to keep you cool, ...AnneNR would be a good fit....I can get her for cheap.  She´s naturally subservient and would be a perfect fit for the job. 

 

Her only negative is there is a high risk she may want to "do more" than just wave palms for you, if you know what I mean.

 

Chicks are never content.

 

 

I suggest James be voted to "Half Wit" as he's obviously not bright enough to be a village idiot.     Be gentle with him, Shelley, and see to it he doesn't harm himself or others . . . we need to get him a helmet, he needs to protect his head from further damage.   

(If he gets much worse, he'll have to be demoted down to "Dim Wit" and restrained in the stocks in the middle of the village square.)

 

:haha: :haha:

[AnneNR]

James, I am certain Lew is quite capable of palming himself. :P

 

AnneNR

 

6  6

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[Shelley]

I suggest James be voted to "Half Wit" as he's obviously not bright enough to be a village idiot.     Be gentle with him, Shelley, and see to it he doesn't harm himself or others . . . we need to get him a helmet, he needs to protect his head from further damage.   

(If he gets much worse, he'll have to be demoted down to "Dim Wit" and restrained in the stocks in the middle of the village square.)

 

:haha: :haha:

 

 ..James and Lew are way out of my league(not really but they think so), so as one of the village idiots, I am pleading the fifth when it comes to James..He and I go way back, when I was trying to join his harem(that is a whole other story)...James is  in my book(or at least I let him think so)...So I'm just going to sit back and enjoy the show

[AnneNR]

. . .  "so as one of the village idiots, I am pleading the fifth when it comes to James." . . .

 

 

. . . Chicken Little !!  :lol:   I was hoping you could get that helmet he needs so badly (it might just keep his cerebral circumference intact and unexploded a short while longer!!!  --- quit encouraging THE JAMES !!)

 

AnneNR

 

6  6

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[Lew Bundles]

Remember ladies..Here is the difference in the two genders:read these  old adages...When a man falls off the side of a boat, the official term is " man overboard"...When a lady falls over, its ":full steam ahead"...

 

Women are like the city bus...When one leaves, another comes along in 20 minutes...

 

There are many women out there, but there is only one LEW BUNDLES...

[Catnip]

One is enough!

[AnneNR]

One too many sometimes! :P

 

AnneNR

 

6  6

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[James]

To the contrary, when you are LEW BUNDLES.....

[James]

.....you have a responsibility to go forth and multiply (for the good of the human race).

Luckily Lew has some early takers in Marlene, Birdy, AnneNR....and now I´m thinking Redd and Catnip are jockeying for a little Lew, TOO.

 

Things are looking up for the human race.

 

TO BE CONTINUED..

[Mary Ellen]

As one of the village Idiots..I am not touching that survey with a ten foot poll  ...As for the Marvin issue, this village idiot thinks it has "Gone all the way" and needs to be put to rest.

Carry on Lew

 

 

As one of the village Idiots..I am not touching that survey with a ten foot poll  ...As for the Marvin issue, this village idiot thinks it has "Gone all the way" and needs to be put to rest.

Carry on Lew

My interesting interests have taken me away from the board for a few days, but Shelley dear, think you are on the money with this one!!