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Attention EC.com Ladies...


Lew Bundles

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ATTENTION TO ALL EC.COM LADIES:

You will have a chance to make history...In 2015, you ladies can step into "legendary" status...Let me explain...

By my calculations, our beloved Tommy Tunes will be turning 60 years old then...

Therefore, on the nite of Oct.12 th, 2015, one of you lucky ladies can be the last woman(maybe the only one) to have sex with TT while he's still in his 50's...

Or, if this sounds more enticing, you could wait until the very next day, his actual birthday, and you can be the 1st girl to have him in his 60's...

I realize that this is a few years away: you may need this long to prepare yourself, mentally, for this gruesome(glorious for TT) event...

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tommy, for this CURRENT birthday, ran a little incentive for local New Jersey women...

Again there were two options...

Option #1: Tommy recently dropped his business card into one of those fishbowls at the checkout counter at a local restaurant, where, if his card gets picked, he would win a free lunch...

About a week ago, Tommy received a letter in the mail, telling him that his card was selected to win the 2nd place prize...He did not get the free lunch- but he won a 10% off voucher for a one nite stay at the Sparta Marriott...

Therefore: offer #1- If you wished, he would take some lovely young lady, to the hotel, and based on her performance, she could take the 10% off of HER share of the room...

OPTION #2: Tommy is on the board of directors of the local Sparta Little League...Above the concession stand, there is a room where the organizers meet once a month to make sure the league runs smoothly...In this room, there is a couch...

This brings us to option #2...Tommy has the keys, not only to the office, but also the concession stand...Again, based on your performance, you can have a free hot dog, fries and a soda oF ANY size...

It's too late to take advantage of the current offer(s)...

But for the 2015 celebration, PM me privately and I will consider your application...There may be a private interview with me, just to make sure we have the right lady for TT...Hey, what are friends for...

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Lew!

Um.. sorry it seems I am washing my hair on the 12th and unfortunately on the 13th, I know I won't be able to do a thing with it...uh, yes that's it!

Aw shucks! I might also be.. uh....in California again. Really bad timing... frown

Lew, you are still in rare form! laugh

Dear Ecatw: I believe we have already had your rehearsal (you and I) a few years back...Unfortunately, you failed when you showed up with your husband...Therefore, you may negotiate with TT directly...

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Just wanted to let everyone know that you may not have much more time to decided...We already have 3 applicants...

#1- We have the public offering by Wendy, the self appointed sacraficial lamb...Just to be fair to WW, I told Tommy about Wendy's willigness to accomadate him and his response was "oh no, not again"...

#2-Angelina- She sent me her picture along with her letter of intention...I showed Tunes the photo and he gasped, "Boy, she is real pretty"...

#3-Annonymous- I received an unsigned e-mail...The female board member indicated that she will try to work in this project on her next visit to America, scheduled for 3 years from now..."Too bad", the e-mail stated "I was just in the U.S. recently and could have given Tommy post dated "action",..."

This offer really intrigued the Tunester and he would like help from us to figure out who it is...

"This lady sounds very acceptable, cried TT...Its almost like a religious experience to her because she indicated that she may bring along her chaplain"...

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Kids, you're taking the wrong attitude with this...this is not charity...You dont get a W-2 from the government (or a W-69 form in this case)...

Charity is when you bid a dollar on one of Bernie's ebay items even though you have no need for an actual rasberry that has been kept in storage since '72...or you laugh at something that Ira has posted or you tell Wendy that she's looking good when the only thing she's done differently is finally washed her hair...

I have in my posession a correspondence from one of our ec.com faithfuls who would be proud to take the offer...I will post it now, but I will alter the name to protect their identity...

"Lew, I am writing this letter to let you know that I want to be considered for the TT history celebration...since the first time I saw him in the grass skirt, I've been hooked...I fantasize about that photo at nite and wonder what kind of nuts he hides under there...Cant be acorns, but I bet big giant Brazil nuts...and what could the "nutcracker" look like ?... I would love to be a squirrel and TT be my winter harvest...

I am, currently in a happy relationship, but, lately, it"s time for something new...Shots of Goldshlager can get kind of expensive...I dont feel that I should have to get my hand drunk any longer to have it perform its "duties"...

In closing, I will speak of the irony...I am "closing" this letter and hope that I am "opening" a new world for TT and myself...

Respectfully ,

XXXX Cartmill

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DAMN IT LEW! IS NOTHING EVER CONFIDENTIAL WITH YOU?!? mad

Well, at least you omitted the line where I told you by 2015, my hormone treatments for my sex change operation should finally be finished, so Tommy and I can at least go out for dinner in public first...I appreciate you not blabbing that all over. arrgh

Tony...You're the one with the big mouth...I blocked out parts of your name to keep your announimity(sic)...There's no way anyone could tell it was you!!!

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