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"Bitchin'"


ira

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Today out of curiosity I went to a Group Interview to lead groups for Weight Watchers.

The interviewer asked.the interviewees...all of whom were now thin..."How is the Weight Watchers Program still a part of your everyday lives...Do you track EVERY point?...Do you attend meetings"?...etc.

I said "No...I watch myself and exercise".

Well..."A hush fell over the pool room" ("Bad Bad Leroy Brown")...I apparently had commited a mortal sin....I felt secure that I have changed my life...and I feel very secure that if I ever fall off the wagon I'd go back.

All the others in counterpoint to my heresy began to talk about pain...struggle...points etc.

So here's my question...

I'm a HUGE proponent of therapy...But my goal has always been reflection and forward movement...AND a little joy and passion in living this great gift that I call "Life".

But how does one determine for oneself when one is licking one's wounds...and when it's time to "Just Do it".

It was my conclusion in my own marriage that the "Bitchin'/Just Do it Balance" was outta proportion that led me to my life choice to end the marriage.

How do you determine the difference between self-pity...legitimate struggle in truly difficult situations...and when it's time to start dealin' and move on?

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dude....you're getting better...Bravo!

that's what I derive from the post above.

There's a time to lick wounds, gain strength through brotherhood, routine, dogma...but ultimately you want to get to a place where you want to move on. That doesn't mean you don't have doubt or pain...but you're better able to compartmentalize it and use it as the impetus to move forward. THAT my friend is strength!!!!

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If you feel that you got all that you could out of it, Time to move on. If you feel you would be a good role model for someone, or could offer encouragement to someone, then stay with it. If you feel you have achieved your goals and you want to get into other things, go for it. Sometimes I think therapy has an end point. Isn't that why these people teach you how to deal issues?! Are you supposed to need them forever?

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im struggling here to figure out how to respond..obviously

i dont know your situation..so bear with me. smile

telling someone to "just do it", is easy...but everyone has

to walk their own path in this journey called life.

not so sure about the therapy thing...if it works for you,wonderful...tried it after the death of my spouse but

quit after a couple of sessions of listening to the counselor

talk about HER problems.. crazy

but trust me..YOU will KNOW when its time to stop licking your

wounds, just as the others in your group will know when its time to stop licking theirs.

keep up the good work!

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How do you determine the difference between self-pity...legitimate struggle in truly difficult situations...and when it's time to start dealin' and move on?

Ira,

Everyone lives their life in their own way. Some of us are geared for self-pity and will stay in that mode until they “feel†they can handle something else in their life. Some of us refuse to go there as it holds us back.

I know when I’m feeling sorry for myself, but I also know that doing so won’t change a current situation. Everything I do is my choice; therefore why I am choosing to do something is my question.

I have never had a problem with putting others before me, but then again when I start to get pissed at them, I have to remember why I made that choice. And at times, I must put myself first to survive emotionally.

It’s not all about me in the world...it’s all about what is the right thing to do in each situation, which may end up in a self-pity party for a bit. But it’s one’s choice when wallowing in self-pity if they shall let the world know or quietly realize to themself that things can, will and do change, eventually.

One can let ANYTHING stop them or let NOTHING stop them. It doesn’t mean they will be happy right away, but it can put one on a path to where the future is that much brighter.

I choose to not wallow...I choose to talk to a few who know my life...I choose to not be a martyr because I put someone first before my own needs, I choose not to blame them for my choice, but I also choose to realize that for me to be "Wendy" sometimes things aren’t exactly how I’ve planned, or where I want to be in life. But that doesn’t mean I won’t be. That is how I HAVE to look at things and try to find happiness in something every day.

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See Tony...The attributes 2 men can see in the same woman always differ...You and me like different things about Wendy.

Since it's practically official what a Gosh-Darn sensitive guy I am...I'm obviously in love with Wendy's soul. pray

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And yet ANOTHER male perspective on the same woman.

John...We men are SO sophisticated...we can appreciate all that is beautiful in life from so many different perspectives.

We're actually "Some Kinda Wonderful"...Don'tcha think?

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Guest Fresh

Yes, hot blondes can relate...especially when predicting what amusing antics men will do next to attract their attention.

Hey Tony, I resemble, er, I mean, I resent that implication!!! hahahaha

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Well, these posts made my day.

Hey Tony...if I loan money, I do expect it back. wink I'm just sayin...

Anyway...Ira.

Do what you need to do...listen and absorb advice that may help you along the way. Always understand that things do change. Life is an ebb and flow. It's never steady nor constant. It is a continual exciting transformation.

And when you are sooooo down that you can't get any lower...the only place you can go is up. And when you're up...you can always go higher. smile

Your choice.

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Ya see John...ya gotta get past the legs...This Wendy chick's a multi-talented woman of substance. smile

mmmmmmm legs...............I wonder just how long it takes to shave those things....er uhm Ira...huh what.....what did you say? blushgrin

Seriously, excellent advice above.

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Wendy You're "Miss EC.Com Tangent of 2011"..Takin' otherwise level-headed (?) men way off the topic of REALLY serious (?) threads.

Oh BTW...That's a compliment...(although I get the feeling that John and Tony C. are...like many of my students.... easily distracted. eye)

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