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Guys and Nuclear Turkeys


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Will someone please tell me why it is that guys seem to be drawn to purchse turkeys that are (based on their size) nothing short of nuclear. What can be done to stop this?

As I have stated here before, all of the women in my family loathe turkey, but can all bake excellent turkeys. Already my hubby is planning to purchase a 25 lb turkey "unless they have a bigger one" (is what he said). My heart is filled with dread at the thought of my beloved misguided fool shopping with me for the sole purpose of approving the turkey. I know he will do this with reckless abandon!

Okay so as not to seem like a totally ungrateful bitch of a wife, the man has many, many great qualities. He is smart, kind, thoughtful, handsome,witty and makes an excellent living so that I don't have to work (on anything other than life here in Utopia and being the best Giggity Girl that I can be). He also clears the kitchen after all holiday dinners (and seems happy to do so). Yet, there is the turkey thing. Try as I might to send turkey home wiht guests afterwards, it seems like no matter how much I pack up to send out I end up with the same massive amounts of turkey as I began with.

People, why do guys have to find a turkey that is more likely to be a terradactyl (sp?)? Help...please!!

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Dearest Booyah Boy:

I understand and appreciate you answer to my query!! Hmmm...the whole breast thing. Seems that based on what you have said there are never enough breasts nor are they ever large enough. smart

I just might have to go ahead and wrestle with the GINORMOUS turkey (the bird not my hubby) and keep on marching.


Giggity Girl

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We have discussed this smile

My husband is the same & as I told you our largest turkey was a 32 pounder.Add to that the stuffing, the weight of the roasting pan & the fact that you are struggling over a red hot oven & it's not exactly one of your finer moments

I am small of stature & hoisting all that is really hard!!

One year I was struggling with everything & I slooshed a big wave of drippings into the oven & was treated to a big gust of flames shooting out at me. It was like a scene from "Backdraft"

My husband heard the whosh sound & then me screaming & came out to see what was happening , thankfully.

I was afraid to drop the precious million pound turkey so I had to deal with having all the hair on my arms singed off....

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Magoo - you know the real reasong your hubby cam a runnin when he heard the whoosh?? He had to save the turkey!! You know I (like a seriously misguided fool) told my hubby about the 32lb turkey of yours. He instantly said "we've got to get one of those!! Do you think we can find one?". With a straight face I lied and responded "No, I think turkeys that large are an East Coast thing."

You know I love you happy, but I am still laughing about your "Backdraft" experience!! haha

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I think that's only the ones over 30 lbs...they are too big to mate ... But they are also the ones they WANT to mate because they are trying to produce bigger and bigger turkeys.

If they keep it up eventually missm's husband & mine will be able to happily ride off into the sunset on the moose size turkey of their dreams...

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