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Hard Times


Shelley

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My younger son and his fiancee just moved back home with Me and my Hubby. Dave had been on his own for 2 years, His fiancee lost her job, and Dave couldn't afford to carry everything, so being a good Mama haha I offered to let them move back home to get a fresh start..He has been here a week, and I love Him....but its hard to adjust.. having him home again...plus he has a dog :yikes:

a black lab named Jordan(yup after michael Jordan)this dog wants to play with my 3 cats :yikes: who by the way want nothing to do with him...we have daily fights, and the cats are ahead, you think Jordan would get the message after being scratched and hissed at. but he always comes back for more haha

Any of you guys have adult children that have moved back home?

My future daughter in law is going to school for her RN, so they will be ok when she graduates in 2 years, I'm just glad we could help them out.its a damn shame that the economy is the way it is, hope it rebounds soon enough

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We did it twice, Shelley. Once with our oldest son and his family, once with our second son and his fiance'. Neither time worked BUT you have to remember that there was mental illness involved with the boys and abuse issues involved with the women. In my case I would not do it again because of the circumstances but in your case it's completely different and I think you all have a wonderful shot at making this work. You have a great attitude, obviously your son and daughter-in-law have a good attitude, the dog hasn't caught on yet, and the cats will NEVER have a better attitude! hahawink You need adjustment time and so do they so don't base anything on today or tomorrow --- give it some time and allow yourself to transition. You're a great mom, Shelley!!! heartpump

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Oh boy....My Daughter and Son-in-Law moved back in with me for about 6 months last year. I am single, so I figured it would be nice to have company. I have 2 dogs, they have one. The dogs fought constantly. Their dog dug up my whole yard. Holes everywhere.It also destroyed my couch, pillows, doors, etc.(it was a year old at the time, and was "bored"??

The work schedules were a huge problem.I work early, they worked late.They would eat dinner at 11pm, and stay up all nite watching TV.'

I could go on and on. It was nothing but problems.And ended up costing me.(Quadrruple the water bills, double everything else, and they never seemed to have any money when the bills came.

I will never do it again.....

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We have been there too, our oldest had to return home after the owners of the home he was renting let the house go into foreclosure. He had two roommates and the guys had been paying the rent but the home owner wasn't paying the mortgage. The guys had one day to get their things out before it was seized. :yikes:

It wasn't the worst thing because he lost his job a week later.

I didn't mind too much, he did get a lot of projects done around here and painted my parents house.

He is in the Miami-Dade Police academy now and he just moved out a couple of weeks ago into his own apartment. We'll help him a little if we have to, but he is very proud that he hasn't needed any yet.

Mom's like us don't like to see setbacks for our kids, but they will learn from these bends in the road.

They have had it pretty good for a long time, now they will learn to save and budget like we all had to do. wink

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My oldest son and his wife moved in for a year. They had a cute little "no pets" apartment and were doing fine until they got a dog. They managed to hide her for a while, but pit bulls grow fast so they decided to move before they got caught and had nowhere to go but here.

Danny--I completely understand about holes in the yard--and chewed up water hoses, deck furniture and wooden steps. That dog chewed on everything! When they moved to another apartment she gnawed the entire deck rail! They finally gave her to a relative.

I also understand bigger water and electric bills, but they did buy their own groceries.

I do miss sitting on the deck chatting with my daughter-in-law until the wee hours--we're both night owls and she knows how to keep me laughing.

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You ARE a good mother, Shelley. It's difficult to live with your kids after they become adults, from what my friends say. Even their college kids, once they leave, the parents say, "I missed him/her at first, but no, I don't think I want them back home again now! They're fine right where they are!" I think the teenage angst years and the "coming of age" turmoil often leaves an indelible imprint on the parents' minds.

Adult "kids" are even more difficult to manage because you see them making mistakes but they don't want your advice. I'm sure it's hard to watch. After THEY have kids, I would bet they become much easier to live with--hopefully!

Kudos to you for helping them out. You're an angel.

:)--Darlene

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When I said "Never again" I meant as a "figure of speech",I would ALWAYS help my kids out, and hopefully they would do the same for me one day, when I cannot fend for myself.It just frustrates me how a college educated, well-raised young woman, could assume that the financial, as well as physical burden/turmoil she put us(her sister and I) through should fall on my back?.How could someone just walk away, without even offering to help repair/replace all the destruction caused by carelessness?

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It's very difficult when they come back. They've already been out on their own. They're already used to doing things their way and we're certainly used to running our own homes our way. Then.... the clash... and the stress levels go up. On one hand you can say that you're glad that they know how to handle things the way they want to but one the other hand you want them to go run things somewhere else and leave you in peace to just keep on the way you have been!!! It's a tightrope and works better between some children and their parents. It would work with my girls because we're used to working as a team. I doesn't with my boys because they want things their way no matter what.

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