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dianed

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I don't agree with JuliaD post.Even tho you said you didn't mean to be nasty about it you sounded nasty in the post.Maybe Diane is stressed out because people here keep fighting like their 5 years old! I'm 16 and know better then that!.My family loves Diane VERY MUCH!!!!She is very much part of my family and what you said was rude!I don't come here a lot because of the fighting and yet some things never change...

I sounded nasty? If you *interpreted* it as nasty, that's on you. I think I know my intent better than someone who has never met me and judges me by a post they read. Plenty of people here who HAVE met me, including Bernie, know I'm not a vicious person. I don't think my post was rude. But I do think you're a bit judgmental. By the way, you said "Maybe Diane is stressed out because people here keep fighting like their 5 years old!". Precisely why I said maybe being a moderator stresses her. Being a moderator isn't always fun, and if it stresses you, maybe it's not your cup of tea. There's nothing wrong in that.

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I'm struck by the fact that there's even a little criticism on a thread that basically says "Let's get back to our roots and try to get along."

Hey...I ain't completely innocent...but I'm gonna TRY to enjoy what's been so good and ignore what I don't like just like in real life...Y'all have my word...I'll try.

How's about starting right now on this thread to say "Thanks Diane..."We'll try harder"...and let's take it from there.

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As a relative newcomer to this community, my thoughts on this might not be taken with the same gravity of those who have been posting for a long time. But, as a newbee, I am thankful that someone stepped in has everyone thinking about what is going on here. I am hopeful that in the future there can be political, religious and entertainment related threads that I can join in on that are challenging yet civil.... things that make you think!! Let's leave the name calling and the hurtful innuendos to the politicians and media:)

I can always keep myself busy with the song title game and the artist game..... but I was just starting to enjoy TommyTunes Sesame Street Game (I would love to learn what a Tunesette is and make it a goal to be one:) ) I do love to talk politics although I am usually on the defending side (I'm a little more conservative than most)!!

I look forward to getting to know you guys better (ALL OF YOU)

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I feel we all came on this site for the music and the artist, because we feel some connection to it. Then we got into it for the people we interact with, and want to get to know. It is a community of different people and different points of view, but we all want to be a part of it. Some have formed friendships, and some stay on the sidelines ,but we all want to be included. I enjoy the time here, and for me it has been a great experience, and I have learned a few things. How boring it would be if we were all the same.

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JuliaD……..

I AM putting up with it and I AM doing something about it…..RIGHT NOW !!

First of all, I am no more stressed out than the normal person. Secondly, if anyone thinks that me being a moderator is “too stressful†for me has the WRONG idea. I may be all “button –n- bows†sweet and nice, but this gal has thick, tough skin.

My original post was long overdue. For the majority of the time everyone is civil and if it does get just a little heated, Cartmill is ALWAYS around to spread his humor on the topic. But there have been quite a number of instances where certain board members were out of control. This has been escalating for quite a while and I finally had to say something to put an end to all vicious attacks. If one member challenges another member, they challenge me too !!

Most of the members here had my phone number BEFORE I “graduated†to moderator. Perhaps I get the phone calls because I’m easily accessible because I work from home. I don’t mind the phone calls. Sometimes I get calls from members just to say “helloâ€â€¦..sometimes I get “phonenappedâ€â€¦..sometimes I get calls with very valid complaints and I try to be fair in my responses….BUT, when it gets to the point that I’m getting contacted because of trivial juvenile nonsense….I get pissed !! And rightfully so !! There was and is no reason to publically deface another individual on this board. Whatever the tiff is, it should be settled by those individuals ONLY !

We are all on this board for the same reason…..the music. Some of us have been here for years. We’ve met at WAB’s. We’ve met at concerts. We’ve broken bread together. We’ve opened up our homes to others traveling to our cities to see the band. THAT in itself is “genuinely caring about each otherâ€. How can friendships NOT form under these conditions ?!!? I was, and still am one, of the “We’s†who participated in all those events and I hope it continues. I want it to continue. The people I’ve had the pleasure of meeting through this board mean a lot to me.

Should this board ever fold, I know the friendships I’ve made will continue. I’m sorry you’ve never experienced that.

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Thank you, dianed for doing what you do!! I am sorry that things got so out of hand. I read what you posted and, at first, was struck by the tone and then this came to mind..

"BELIEVE NOTHING, NO MATTER WHERE YOU READ IT, OR WHO SAID IT, NO MATTER IF I SAID IT, UNLESS IT AGREES WITH YOUR OWN REASON AND YOUR OWN COMMON SENSE" - THE BUDDHA

Here is one more thing...

"WHEN YOU SEE A SWORDSMAN, DRAW YOUR SWORD. DO NOT RECITE POETRY TO ONE WHO IS NOT A POET" CH'AN BUDDHIST PROVERB

dianed you drew your sword and I respect that. And what you said agreed with my own reason and common sense.

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Diane- I must agree with your comments. I very rarely complain to anyone unless I think someone steps over the line on a post or a thread. I haven't been posting as much lately because I feel that there is little to add to most of these threads, and I don't want to get attacked by someone as I have seen on here lately. I respect you and your judgement.

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JuliaD……..

I AM putting up with it and I AM doing something about it…..RIGHT NOW !!

First of all, I am no more stressed out than the normal person. Secondly, if anyone thinks that me being a moderator is “too stressful†for me has the WRONG idea. I may be all “button –n- bows†sweet and nice, but this gal has thick, tough skin.

My original post was long overdue. For the majority of the time everyone is civil and if it does get just a little heated, Cartmill is ALWAYS around to spread his humor on the topic. But there have been quite a number of instances where certain board members were out of control. This has been escalating for quite a while and I finally had to say something to put an end to all vicious attacks. If one member challenges another member, they challenge me too !!

Most of the members here had my phone number BEFORE I “graduated†to moderator. Perhaps I get the phone calls because I’m easily accessible because I work from home. I don’t mind the phone calls. Sometimes I get calls from members just to say “helloâ€â€¦..sometimes I get “phonenappedâ€â€¦..sometimes I get calls with very valid complaints and I try to be fair in my responses….BUT, when it gets to the point that I’m getting contacted because of trivial juvenile nonsense….I get pissed !! And rightfully so !! There was and is no reason to publically deface another individual on this board. Whatever the tiff is, it should be settled by those individuals ONLY !

We are all on this board for the same reason…..the music. Some of us have been here for years. We’ve met at WAB’s. We’ve met at concerts. We’ve broken bread together. We’ve opened up our homes to others traveling to our cities to see the band. THAT in itself is “genuinely caring about each otherâ€. How can friendships NOT form under these conditions ?!!? I was, and still am one, of the “We’s†who participated in all those events and I hope it continues. I want it to continue. The people I’ve had the pleasure of meeting through this board mean a lot to me.

Should this board ever fold, I know the friendships I’ve made will continue. I’m sorry you’ve never experienced that.

Gee, sorry that I misinterpreted your saying three times in one sentence that you are getting numerous phone calls as being a sign the phone calls were bothering you. Usually mentioning something 3 times in a sentence, with lots of caps and exclaimation points means someone's perturbed. If you're not, good for you!

As for the WAB et all, I've probably participated in more of them than you have. And I've probably been to at least as many concerts as you have. And as for your comment that I've never experienced that... well you're wrong. 'Nuff said.

I'm really happy you're not stressed!

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Julia, you and I go back a long way so I am dismayed by your post. What's the point? Diane was trying to maintain some civility on the board and you called her out for being stressed? Maybe you didn't mean for it to read as nasty, but it does and is uncalled for. And No, "it's not on me', it's on YOU to post in the tone that will properly convey your thoughts/concerns. Don't deflect.

If you thought Diane was stressed why not send her a PM and ask her, instead of posting for all to see? If anyone is stressed over the crap, that passes for discussion, on this board, it's me. I'm fed up with this childish crap.

Diane is an angel. Pick on me if want, but leave her alone.

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Julia, you and I go back a long way so I am dismayed by your post. What's the point? Diane was trying to maintain some civility on the board and you called her out for being stressed? Maybe you didn't mean for it to read as nasty, but it does and is uncalled for. And No, "it's not on me', it's on YOU to post in the tone that will properly convey your thoughts/concerns. Don't deflect.

If you thought Diane was stressed why not send her a PM and ask her, instead of posting for all to see? If anyone is stressed over the crap, that passes for discussion, on this board, it's me. I'm fed up with this childish crap.

Diane is an angel. Pick on me if want, but leave her alone.

Ted, I'm not "calling anyone out", I simply made an observation. Many people in this thread who know her and are friends of hers said she is stressed out, it wasn't just me. I may have been the first, but I wasn't the only.

As for a "tone", I typed words with a specific idea in mind... if someone else reads that post and puts a "nasty" slant on it when one wasn't intended, not much can be done. I believe it was you who replied to a post (not mine) some time ago about people's interpretation of a post not always being the "tone" the poster intended. I didn't intend it to sound nasty, and I'm sorry if people think I did. There's nothing I can do to prove it.

And I didn't pm her because she'd just made a post that she was tired of the phone calls, pm's, and e-mails. I honestly wasn't "picking on" anyone. Sorry you saw it that way. I'd be happy to discuss this with her or anyone else who wishes to discuss it via pm.

I meant no harm, apologies to anyone I pissed off.

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As a relative newcomer to this community, my thoughts on this might not be taken with the same gravity of those who have been posting for a long time. But, as a newbee, I am thankful that someone stepped in has everyone thinking about what is going on here. I am hopeful that in the future there can be political, religious and entertainment related threads that I can join in on that are challenging yet civil.... things that make you think!! Let's leave the name calling and the hurtful innuendos to the politicians and media:)

I can always keep myself busy with the song title game and the artist game..... but I was just starting to enjoy TommyTunes Sesame Street Game (I would love to learn what a Tunesette is and make it a goal to be one:) ) I do love to talk politics although I am usually on the defending side (I'm a little more conservative than most)!!

I look forward to getting to know you guys better (ALL OF YOU)

What is a TUNESETTE? Great question. Perhaps I should start a new thread to figure this out but for starters:

A TUNESETTE is an attractive female member of ec.com who is into the posts of TOMMY TUNES. Glad you are interested in becoming one. Are you attractive?

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I know I 'left the board' but that doesn't stop me form reading it when I feel up to it. Diane not only am I listening to your oh so very wise words but I hear what you are saying too! Your words are not spoken out of anger..but out of frustration and love...the frustration at seeing a beautiful site morphing into someplace hardly recognizable anymore with all of it's personal attacks. I left because of the 'bullying' and I know for a fact countless others have left because they could not respect how either themselves or others have come to be treated by a 'select few' noisemakers on this board. I understand differences of opinions...I always welcomed those and even challenges to the way I perhaps was perceiving certain 'relevant issues'. I joined this site because when I fist 'lurked' for a while, it seemed like such a refreshing website compared to many of the other sites on the world wide spiderweb...(continued...)
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This site wasn't about sexual innuendos tossed out there or secret lil cliks...it appeared to me before I joined that this site was civil, respectful, extremely fun, had members with vast intelligence on a wide variety of subject matter especially musicology. Then it has rules..very clear rules listed by the "Bernie" it's Founder..rules that you had to click to agree too before you were even considered to be allowed to be a member. Well, since I have joined, I have watched interesting conversations turn into all out wars, pictures put up that are more than 'risque',and a total disrespect to not only other members but to Bernie and Eric when such frivalous 'tit for tat' fights ensue. I DID NOT LEAVE because I could no longer stand up for myself but because this site had taken on a life of it's own and it was not a life that I recognized any longer. (sorry continued...)
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What 'some people/members' don't realize is that when they just want to the sling mud for the sake of slinging mud that maybe the person on the other end is going through alot more than just making an errant comment you took to personal or did not like. After all, each of us actually do have lives outside the EC board...when I joined this was a relative safe haven from my outside life which I am still dealing with life/death health issues on a daily basis. I loved this site and I want to love it again...I just want to know why it all had to come to this??? I doubt if any of you met any other member that perhaps you may have offended on the street that you would go out of your way to belittle, hurt or humilate them...most of the members just don't go there...Diane is one of those...she has a kind humane heart..and maybe in the 'outside world' she has bigger issues that are of concern to her...just like most of us.
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Just treat others how you want to be treated..with respect, dignity and a lil humor! I am not saying we all have to sing "Kum by ah", but how about we start with "Why Can't we be Friends?" Diane, from my heart to yours, you are truly a gift that many on this board do not realize just how much you have given here of yourself. May God Bless YOU Always!

Let's have some peace for the love of EC and all those who have worked tirelessly to make this site, and maintain it!

Maybe then, we will see alot of old faces return and have more new ones join again!

*Vera*

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