unemployed

[chris hess]

been having a really hard time dealing with not working this week..useless,hopelessness,and bored out of my mind!!! i think the older we get,and you get in this position makes it harder..but finally today,i felt some ease of mind,i do'nt know why really,i just know i've been beating myself up day and night for nothing,not to say it's nothing,i've been obsessed with looking and applying,that i've made myself miserable and probally my family too,and can't do it anymore...i know some of you have been through this,any comments?? or am i nuts??!!lol,chris...any shrinks advise here would be helpful!!!! i say with a slight humor that is!!!!

[AnniekNY]

Hang in there Chris! you're just having a tough time transitioning from your normal productive self to having to get into the hunt again.

Can you think about the job change as an opportunity to change for the better? As an adventure?

[blackhawkpat]

Take it as a positive that is allowing you more time to create music.

[Muzza]

Chris.. I can empathise with you and want to encourage you to keep your spirits up and keep positive.

I agree with AnnieK that this may be a time to do something completely different even though it may be a bit "scary" and a challenge. I am originally a Motor Mechanic by trade and now I am a Hospital Chaplain. In between I've done some things I would never have thought of earlier in my life. It was all worthwhile in the end.

Take care my friend and know Kiwi and I are thinking of you and you are in our prayers.

Muzza

[AnneG]

Chris, you're having trouble adjusting from your previous daily 'routine' - with all its deadlines, schedules, and tasks, to a free, unstructured day.

I enthusiastically support the idea of your changing gears, changing careers, just changing! So many people are abandoning careers they've had for 20+ years and finally doing what they always wanted to do.

Take advantage of the time to rethink your goals. I'm sure you'll come up with something spectacular.

Anne

[GMan]

Hey Chris, don't keep beating yourself up. You're a good person...take a rest along the way....just keep moving ahead...however slow it me seem to be. Remember...like the song says...."the darkest hour is just before dawn". Hang in there my friend. Everything's gonna be OK.

[hollies65]

'This Is Dedicated To The One I Love'.

[darlene]

Hi, Chris. Don't beat yourself up at *all.* Unemployment is up higher than it's been in a long time. It's not your fault, it's the economy/government's fault! Pat's advice is so good--take it as a positive to create music. Take heart--things will turn around.

Sometimes things go the way they *should* go, for a reason not readily apparent to us at the time. A beloved health teacher was fired for being "ahead of his time" in sex education back when I was in high school. Those of us who had him as a teacher or even knew him were devastated because he was a FANTASTIC teacher and did nothing wrong. However, he was too "avant-garde" and he lost his job. His students' devastation didn't begin to compare to his. Newspaper headlines raged; what he was teaching was too "controversial." And he had had his job a long time. He was embarrassed and crushed, certain he'd never get another job.

He went on to become assistant superintendent, then superintendent of schools in another school system. I taught his granddaughter several years ago and I got to see him. He looked TERRIFIC and when I said we were all sorry about what had happened to him because we missed him so much, he said, "Don't be. They did me a FAVOR!

If that hadn't happened, I'd still be a health teacher, working at my same job and would never have even tried to be anything else. I sure would never have become a superintendent."

And he's so right. With no adversity, we'd never change or grow. Think of this as an opportunity to get something better than you had, and don't spare thinking big. You're in my prayers. Keep your chin up--I know you'll wind up better than you were before.

--Love, Darlene

[chris hess]

i realise everything you are saying,i appreciate that more than all of you will ever know!!! i have'nt been able to write music for awhile do to stress,but i know it will come in due time...but i want to thank you for your kindness and heartfelt words and advice...you people here are the greatest friends i've never met..this did happen for a reason,and i'm going with that..just got to keep going that's all!! thanks again for replying,lol,chris

[Julie]

Hey Chris,

Do hang in there. I know where you're coming from--I got fired last month from a job I love. Lost my husband 4 1/2 months ago and my brother-in-law--so, I really do know that life can be a huge challenge at times.

I figure, God must have a very special plan for me. He's really been working on molding me. I feel like I've kind of turned a corner this week.

I have been doing volunteer work this last month. I work at the Chamber of Commmerce/Welcome Center for our town and I also help out at our Senior Center's lunch program. I am also going to be going to a couple of nearby nursing homes to entertain. I've sent cards to people in church who have been really helpful to me also. For me, all of these things are keeping me out in the public and who knows, maybe a job will come from it.

Try to stay positive. I know it can be a real challenge at times.

Praying for you!

Blessings,

Julie

[hollies65]

That's a admirable attitude Julie.

[Rich From PA]

Chris:

I've been keeping a low profile over the last 3 or 4 months because I was also laid off from a job that I enjoyed as well.

I spend every day scouring CareerBuilders, Monster, and Jobs.com and have signed with several agencies to try to find employment. All with no luck.

It's not that there aren't jobs out there. I'm finding I'm either too expensive or too experienced; and even if I offer to take a lower wage, the employer won't hire me because they're afraid I'll leave for a higher paying job. A beautiful Catch-22.

So I can sympathize with you. My health was suffering the first 2 months from stress -- not sleeping, blood pressure sky high, etc.

Finally I realized worrying over something I can't control was only causing me more grief; so now I concentrate on the things I can control: making sure my resume is up to snuff; that I follow leads when they come up and that I make a real effort to find a job. Not much else I can do.

Don't know if this is helpful to you, but this is how I handled the situation.

I wish you the best of luck and hope that fortune smiles on you soon.

God Bless

Rich

[dianed]

"It's A Sign of the Times".......

I was laid off today. I've been working from home for the past 3 years and had a huge account that paid a very nice salary. I was replaced with a computerized "voice recognition system", so my services are no longer needed. I still have a few small accounts, but the pay is no where near what this account paid. I was aware that this would happen and figured it was time to get back into a 9-5 routine. I've been on interviews but am told that I'm "over qualified".

It's a bad situation all over, especially since it's summer. I'm hoping once the summer is over and vacations are over that the job market will pick up again. No use stressing over a situation that can't be changed. It is what it is.

I'm keeping my fingers, toes and eyes crossed for everyone who is in the same situation.

[chris hess]

to everyone who is in the same situation..we need to talk about this,exactly why i asked..it is very hard out there,and i had a hunch there's more people "our" age this is happening to..lol,chris

[darlene]

Chris, Rich and Diane, you're in my prayers to find positions that are even better than what you had. I truly believe you will, so it will happen. In the meantime, hang in there and know that you are not defined by what you do. It's what you are that matters, and you're all amazing and wonderful people.

A great cheer-up book is "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" by Dr. David Byrne. His main point: We are each a value of ONE, as in one human being. No one can possibly be worth more than that, no matter how gorgeous, famous, intelligent or productive he/she is. And no one can be worth any less than that, whether you have a job or are jobless.

In short, no matter what we do (or even who we are), we are all worth "one human being," no more, no less. That even applies to axe murderers! :-) And you can't earn more points by "doing" ANYTING! Nor can you lose any points for doing nothing or doing bad things.

David Byrne says that however you feel, your emotions are not accurate when you think that your value is tied to how productivity. That's a simple truth that our emotions try to disprove, but Dr. Byrne proves it and makes his book worth reading.

--Love, Darlene

[HT from Mo]

Chris/Rich and Diane,

I am so sorry to hear of your current situations. I am sure that each of you will find a job that is fufilling in one way or another. I will keep you all in my prayers.

Chin up!

Beth

[hollies65]

Times are tough right now...but feeling sorry for ones self and having negative thoughts never solved anything. Taking action and and coupling that with positive thought is the solution. There is a good job out there for you...go get it.

[MJ]

Very few people in life get to have a dream job (like Bernie, or bands that make it) - most of us work just for health benefits and stay there because of it. However, you just have to pound the pavements and internet sites for jobs and perhaps take something that may not be what you really want to do or has the exact same pay scale you were used to - the important thing is to survive and move forward and provide for yourself and if you have one - your families - that's what is important.

I was once laid off after 12 1/2 years so I know and feel for you all - it takes time especially in this marketplace but it is possible. Good luck to everyone.

[Julie]

Thanks Hollies and MJ

Julie

[canadianchick]

Chris, Rich and Diane

I am sorry to hear of your luck... I worked for 18 years at Bell Canada...it used to be called "Ma Bell" and then we saw the writing on the wall, automation...we knew our days were numbered and the funny thing is...it was almost a relief when I left...I took a year off, I honed up on my resume writing skills, read lots of books, talked to lots of people and then...I got my Job working at the City police station.... its even better now..cuz I feel I actually help people soo don't look down... look forward... better things are coming your way Valorie

[AnneG]

In the meantime, hang in there and know that you are not defined by what you do. It's what you are that matters, and you're all amazing and wonderful people.

Absolutely! Work is just what you do - not who you are. Everyone is feeling some degree of pain with the turbulent economy, but fortunately companies are always looking for good talent. Best to be prepared so when an opportunity comes along you can grab it!

[Raspberries4ever]

Similar to what AnneG said, here's a thought that I've always enjoyed "My work is something I do, not what I am. What I am is far geater that anything I can do." Also, remember that our value comes from God. Every one of us is valuable in His sight. No one can take that value away from you. Chris, Julie, Rich & Diane, you are all in my prayers.

[Julie]

Thanks R4Ever--I was starting to feel left out.

I had my unemployment fact-finding interview yesterday. Even though my boss fired me, she is trying to say I abandoned my job. I sooooo do not need this added stress right now. Won't know the decision for a few days.

I don't know what kind of job I'm going to be able to find here--not much available around here and I don't want to move on top of everything else. For now, the volunteer work is fulfilling for me--even if it doesn't pay the bills.

Sorry everyone--I just have a lot on my plate right now.

Blessings all,

Julie

[chris hess]

right there with ya julie! you are not alone..no need to say you are sorry..and it's not about feeling sorry for yourself...it's REAL!! and it sucks,but we do have to move on,and alot of times in our lives,we have to..as steve said,we got to change our feelings to positive thinking,cause negative thoughts only will take you back to those bad thoughts..right steve??..i got your point,and it's true,time for change..i'm glad i'm not alone too...let's hang in there together,lol,chris

[Rich From PA]

Just wanted to thank everyone for the outpouring of support. It means a great deal.

What has helped me get through this difficult time is treating job-hunting like a job. I'm on the net from 9:00am every weekday morning checking the different job sites and chasing down leads. It helps to have some structure so I don't feel like I'm doing this aimlessly.

I am also extremely blessed in that I have one of the most understanding and supportive wives that anyone could hope for. She is a registered nurse and makes a good wage. Her job provides benefits so we are not faced with outrageous COBRA payments. As I said, extremely blessed.

All I can do is make a solid effort to find a job and wait for the odds to finally catch up to me.

Again, all the support is greatly appreciated and I'll always take all the prayers I can get.

God Bless

Rich