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It's official- I'm Divorced


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My blood pressure is at an all time high. It hit 197/137 I believe the other day and has been running around 170/111. It's crazy. I'll tell you more in the future. Thanks again to everyone for their prayers. Please continue a little while longer. House closing scheduled for July 3 should help.Love, TT

(By the way , I was raped reshaped and ...)

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You need to take a “time out†and take a deep breath. Instead of focusing on all the negative aspects, you need to start focusing on the positive side to all this. You’re young……you’re healthy……you’re successful in what you do…..you have two beautiful children………and you have people in your life who really care about you. I know this is a very difficult time for you right now, but try not to look too far into the future right now, your thoughts are too clouded. Take baby steps !!

Things happen for a reason, my friend. There will be someone out there who is better suited for you. But you need to have a relationship with yourself and learn to love yourself, just the way everybody else loves you. You won’t be any good to anyone else if you don’t take good care of YOU !! LuvLove

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Tommy...Seriously...Are you taking B.P. medication?

Pull-eaze....Be the victor and not the victim.

I speak from experience.

We all love you here and there's a "hot" woman out there who deserves a great guy like you.

Your Friend Ira...The "Jersey Paisan"!

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Tommy- take care of yourself, please! I need to get back at you for offering all those trades, then pounding my butt in fantasy baseball! Seriously, it's always a better place with you here. I finally got to meet you and Lew in NYC, and I want to see you again! psych

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I truly wish I could get Mr. Spock to mind meld you and I...if that were possible, you would experience true happiness, peace and strength...because for me, the "divorce storm" is over. (And the judge ruled in MY favor!)

I separated in early 2004, because she cheated on ME. Yet I WAS THE ONE who had to give her half to 2/3rds of everything?

Child support of $16,000 a year PLUS 2/3rd daycare ($3,000) for three kids...I'm taxed on it and she's NOT? And she never stopped taking me to court for more money because I was in a band that made a little pocket change for me here and there?

My X is second only to Kim Basinger in the "Parental Alienation Hall of Fame". I am friends with Alec Baldwin's sister, and she shared with me a story that I cannot repeat here - but please believe me, it was a horrible example of a father following the court ordered rules, but the mother completely breaking them to try and SET HIM UP to flip out, but NOTHING could be done by the courts. Alec's sister's story makes me understand why he 'lost it' with that infamous voice mail. But still, as hard as it is, he could have chosen to not 'take on' her crap.

TUNES - all my worrying was not worth it. I came out not only alive, but BETTER than when I was married to that vindictive, mentally unstable woman for 14 years.

God put the perfect woman in front of me in summer 2005, and we married in August 2006. We haven't had anything close to a fight in the three years we've been together.

I worked HARD on staying close to my three kids, no matter how many times she tried to pit them against me. (Ask "mamacote"... he knows my new wife well, and can vouch for her character!)

Believe in yourself. I thought I was a failure, but that was only an illusion that I created myself, by listening to others (mainly family) who I THOUGHT were supportive. Boy was I wrong! Don't give her (or her bastard attorney who is feeding on her emotions and her check book) permission to rent space in your brain. When she slings arrows at you, it's because that is how she feels deep inside about HERSELF. The fact that you can share your struggle here on this site means you have HUMILITY, and accept that you need help to make a go of it. I respect the heck out of you for that.

All the best to you. Don't give up.

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I've been there, too. You feel terrible right now but things do get much better as time passes.

The first thing I noticed was a wonderful sense of freedom and I was able to move on.

But your priority is your health. Please take care of yourself.

Paul-I'm glad the judge ruled in your favor. So many husbands get unbelievably raw deals when it comes to property, child support, spousal support and custody or visitation. I refused child support as long as he was willing to chip in sometimes and visitation is unlimited. It's worked out fine. I'm not anti-child support...it just needs to be reasonable and fair, but, from what I've seen, it rarely is.

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Okay Tunes, you can let the housecleaning go until right before the kids come over, but DO NOT FORGET to pick up your laundry! They will make your clothes disappear. Of all the challenges of single life, I don't know why this is so hard to remember. There is nothing worse than waking up in the morning and not having clean underwear, and there's nobody to blame but yourself. angryinsane If you need any advice on how to survive - just ask. I"m here for you. Experience counts. smart

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