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Tell a very embarrasing thing that happened to you

Carmen Smalley

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My story is a bathroom story in Taiwan. I was visiting some supplier shops - tooling, die casting and CNC machinging. It was one of those days when I just had to "go" and it wasn't Number 1, lol. Anyway, while in the tooling shop I asked for the "WC" and was shown a small bathroom in the back. Of course, there was no service tissue. I went Number 1 anyway, and then tried to flush the toilet. The water was turned off and I had to squat down and open the valve to fill the tank. While I was waiting for the tank to fill up, the big boss came looking for me and found me squatting on the floor while I was waiting for the tank to fill. He said "you don't need to do that!" and tried to grab my arm to pick me up out of that supposedly demeaning position.

But that is not the embarassing part.

Next, we went to the die casting shop for about 20 mins. I still had to go, but I was dealing with it. By the time we went to the CNC shop about 30 mins later, I had to evacuate the troops and bad too! So, I asked my wife to ask them where the WC was. She was concerned because I had just asked a short while ago. I explained to her that I didn't go before because there was no service tissue. Since there was the big boss, his female assistant, the husband/wife shop owners, 1 male and 2 female programmers present, I whispered in English, hoping that the ones who understood English wouldn't be able to hear me telling my wife why I needed to use the facility in this place shortly after using it in the last place.

So, my wife then launched into an unusually long discussion for asking where the WC is, and she spoke in Taiwanese. There was some finger pointing and gesturing involved with almost everyone in attendance who had gathered around me (because I was the visiting VIP).

My wife then turned to me and said right out loud, in English "The restroom is over there and yes, they do have paper because I asked them." There was nothing I could do but turn to all the faces looking at me and thank them before I went to the WC and used the paper they all knew I desperately needed.

To this day my wife does not understand why I was hoping to slip, hit my head, crack my skull open and die so I would never have to come out of that bathroom again.

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I was never used to drinking, but on my birthday, my girlfriend, Olga and her cousin took me out for dinner and then to this bar we loved called The Owl And The Pussycat (it was in the '70s, and the guy who owned it was an adorable Italian older man who looked like the guy on "My Favorite Martian.") His son, Sal, tended bar and wanted to impress me. Told me he would mix me something really special for my birthday. (I never drank very much). Whatever it was, it had vodka, but I couldn't taste any of it. I finished the entire drink, and then Sal said "Take it easy getting up". I said "No problem" and was fine until I got up off the bar stool. I stood up, said "No problem" again, and fell flat on my ass. Olga and her cousin wound up carrying me out of the bar, into the car and up the steps to my apartment and put me to bed. I didn't know anything till the next day, when I wished I still knew nothing.

smile --Darlene

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Some very funny stories guys (and gals). I have managed to blackout my embarassing moments, really (talk about denial). But I want to relate a story relevant to this board.

The ex-wife of a friend of mine went to the same High School as Eric. He was all the rage with the girls even then. She tells the story of the time she was at a local (community, I think) pool. She had been trying to get up enough nerve to start a conversation with him and as Eric approached she had her move timed just right - but, she forgot to put her arms back in her bikini top. You can imagine the rest. So close and yet so far, eh? If Eric reads this I don't know her maiden name (wouldn't give it anyway) but her first name was Andrea. She couldn't face him, ever, after that. It will be intersting to find out if Eric remembers the incident.

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