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Plea For Help !!!!


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I am turning to the board for help...It is about my husband Lew...Many of you know of him from this community and that is why I come here to ask for your assistance...There is something wrong with him...He is not the same fun loving man that I married and I am worried...He sits in his room all day and refuses to come out, only for meals...

It started about a week ago when he lost his job...He was working in a sperm bank and was fired for drinking on the job...It isnt the first time that this has happened...He used to work in a pharmacy and this little old lady came in and asked him where she could find cotton balls..."Dont Look at me lady, I'm not a teddy bear"...He was let go by the store...

He justs sits in that room all day long and blasts Springsteen music...24 Hours a day...He wont watch Knots Landing anymore or Days of Our Lives...He's upset because Cartmill had called him a girlie man..."At least I would have defended myself if I had gotten choked by a guy that looks like Joan Van Ark", was Lew's response...He is starting to talk nonsensical..."Pete Best was the only one in that damn group with real talent, Lewisa"...

Halloween was especially depressing...Lew would always dress up for the occasion and the kids in the neighborhood would get a big kick out of it...This year, he wouldnt dress...The kids started taunting him, chanting "Bea shaves her legs, Bea shaves her legs"(Kids could be quite cruel)...They threw eggs at the house...Lew went out and put several pieces of toast around the yard, but they still bombarded us...Now, he tells me that he wants to get a divorce because he's in love with Betty White...I am at my wits end...He has gained so much weight lately...He actually contemplated going out for Halloween dressed as livestock, but I talked him out of it...Our sex life is almost non-existent...Before, a session would last almost 8 minutes(drinks included)...Now he tells me that after last nights rendezvous, he wont be ready till late spring...After our tryst last night, I kicked back to have a cigarette and Lew went on the front lawn to graze...There was a time when he was so skinny that he had to run around in the shower to get wet...I would have been able to fax him to L.A. to have seen the Raspberries...No more...I swear he's growing antlers...Just today, I saw flashes of the old Lew...He got up and went to the computer and wanted to see how everyone here was doing...AND WHAT DOES HE SEE...Hungryeyes,Sugarbabi7,Tommy Tunes, Cartmill all talking his place and posting "TRIFECTAS"...The one thing in life that he loved and you people stole it from him...

I'm afraid that might be the final straw...He wont bathe anymore...Put a piece of cheese under his arms and you get French Onion Soup...

I dont know what to do...Can anybody help my poor Lew?...

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I had to get my snare and cymbal out for all the rimshots...

I started feeling sorry for Lew. It was nice to find out he has a wife. Lew likes women? Well that's a pleasant surprise. Then I realized that if someone's main pleasure in life is posting easy Trifectas on the message board...Well, sometimes you just have to thin the herd.

Where's my chainsaw?... crazy

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Lewisa, you probably don't know me but I was here throughout the summer and recently re-appeared. You seem to be a very sexy, but sensitive, lady and it's obvious that Lew is very lucky to have you. I came to like and respect Lew and thus I too want to help him.

The best thing I can do to help Lew is to direct you, Lewisa, not to read any of my posts. My brutal intelligence might be too much for you to take. The dichotomy of my posts (clever and witty) next to Lew's posts (a bit dull) would likely cause you to throw rocks at Lew and hop on a plane to Chicago.

Because I like Lew, I can't let that happen.

One last thing, if you'd like to have stars in your eyes again for Lew, just take a gander at some of Tony Cartmill's posts....compared to Tony, you'll again see Lew as the Prince Charming you married way back when!

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Dearest James...While I appreciate your wanting to help Lew, I am indeed a one poster woman...I have reread some of your writtings and I am surprised that your scribblings have not taken you to greater heights...You should be writing big time: novels or for a newspaper or insurance policies...Cartmill's writings meander...His writings are flat and thin...He needs to fatten up his vocabulary...May I suggest Mr. Cartmill, that you invent a newspaper column called "Dear Flabby" and bulk up on your skills...I must go now...I hear "I'm on Fire" by Bruce coming from our bedroom and hope that is a precursor to the old "frisky" Lew...P.S....Take a look at Lew's picture on some back posts...Thats the reason I fell in love with him in the first place...Just gorgeous(He's so dark and handsome that he makes Satch Sanders look like Johnny Winter)...As for you, Sugarbabi, I could never be seduced by a woman that has a "candy" for a name, unless it was Pez of course where we could tilt back your head and ...(you get the picture)...

"Coming Lew"...

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Lewisa, I feel your pain. I think of Lew as the acquaintence I never made. Please feel free to call on me if I can be of any assistance. I have an idea of what he's going thru. They say "Behind every great man is a great woman" .After reading your post I feel I've been given a first hand look at his great "behind". Don't let some of the lesser "behinds", who don't appreciate his greatness, get him feeling down in the dumps. Please give Lew my best regards. The world may not yet be ready for his "greatness" but, thank God, some of us are.

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I believe the chainsaw attack by Mr. Cartmill to be prejudiciously motivated...Sugarbabi7,Tommy Tunes,hungryeyes and Mr.Cartmill himself have all been "Trifecta" winners but the only one that Mr. Cartmill is going to hack up is Lew...Can this be a coincidence?...Why Lew and not the others?...Should Mr. Cartmills attempt to carve Lew's heart out to make suffrito go by the board of moderators?...Or has his new zombie like existence(post L.A. show) carry over to all musicians(like Mr. Springsteen)?

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Lewisa Bundles ??.................

I believe someone should look up her dress.....

somethings fishy...............

something stinks...............

so, if I'm to asume this correctly, Lewisa Bundles is captain harlocks sister in-law?

........now that's troubling?????

not to mention disturbing.

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