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Is it just me....?


Bessieboo

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Last night I went to a Bridal Shower, everything was beautiful.

Then we hear a Boom,Boom, Booming, and male dancer is in the center of the room dressed I guess as a "tacky tourist".

The Bride is seated right up front. Off comes the sunglasses, shirt, shorts....He is lap dancing almost on top of her. The song fades into another song and he strips everything!

Nothing but him and his ....."personality".

All I could think was YUCK. There was nothing appealing or sexy about a strange naked guy dancing around.

Maybe I am desensitized

Is it just me, or was this strange choice of entertainment?

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I'm not sure why so many of us think it's ok to do that stuff at a bachelor/bachelorette party...but not ok while dating or after marriage.

I was Best Man in a wedding a few years ago and the groom took all the guys in the wedding to a strip bar. Everybody was going to be drinking and I knew what would probably go down. I couldn't bring myself to go for respect to the bride...and I told the groom this.

I love to have fun, but think once you commit, you commit...and to me this kind of thing goes against the commitment.

Best not to ever commit!!

wink

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Bessie, you're not 'desensitized'...society is. I have to agree with you on the yuck factor. In my oppinion it's just plain tacky. It is demeaning and degrading...whether it's a man or a woman taking their clothes off. It 'cheapens' the way the beauty of a human body could be appreciated...not to mention the absense of morals. (Just my position on the issue)

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I don’t mind admitting that it’s never been my idea of fun... could have been the prudish conditioning from my parents that made me less vulnerable to other people’s influence. Or maybe not – I don’t know. But a funny story –

In 5/98, my friend, Karen, got married and I was a bridesmaid. For her bridal shower, we had the fancy dinner, limo to drive us bar to bar all evening, trays of jello shots in the limo fridge in back, but it was quite a tame evening for her tastes. After the wedding, Karen and her new hubby went to Mexico for a three-week honeymoon. As they were driving home from the airport the very afternoon that they returned, she heard about a Chippendales show that night at Chilkoot Charlies, an old log cabin in Anchorage that was turned into bar years ago (with one addition after another). Karen rounded up all of her bridal party and “treated†us to the show. I was the only one who didn’t know what we were going to until we got there. The first half of the show was pretty conservative considering what one might expect. After their mid-show break they come back out and the leader/manager gets on stage (compared to the 20-somethings on tour with him, he was not shabby at all for being probably 50 years old at the time). He’s dancing around and as he pulls each individual finger of a glove off, sparks shoot up in the air, then he flicked the whole glove up with a big flash. At the same time another dancer was practically in Karen’s lap gyrating up into her face right next to me and I thought “God, get me out of here!†Then the man on stage removed the glove from his other hand, and sparks suddenly caught a drape hanging over the stage on fire. The whole place filled with smoke as an orange glow flashed across the stage valance framing the stage with flames literally within seconds. Everyone got out safely, but boy, did they put on a HOT show! eye

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Anne,

The Bride is 30ish, High maintenance, career lady, first marriage, not a shy person but she looked stressed.

I think the bridesmaids planned the entertainment.

I can not help feeling that the guy shaking his ....personality, should stop when he sees a distressed look.

Almost an act of aggression

But, the part I keep thinking about is...

We are not Lesbians, so why, did most of us there not find anything sexy about the guy?

My reference to desensitization was about when the boys are home from school, I am lucky if they remember to keep a towel on from the bathroom to their bedrooms. It is warm here most of the time, and they are ...let's say unencumbered in the shame department. :rolleyes:

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Forgive the bluntness, but I think the answer is that sluts are not a turn-on, and that type of bar dancing is slutty, male or female....

Though I've seen a few female dancers that for some reason, the slutty thing didn't get in the way.... must be the male/dog in me... confused

wink

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I'm with James on this one too. Not only does there seem to be a double standard going on when people do such things, but from what I've observed both guys and gals have behaved in ways that the next day they have been horrified to reflect on. Why do that to yourself and your friends?

I don't understand what is funny or entertaining about embarrassing or shocking your "friend" who is about to get married.

Bessie, I think that any "sexiness" the guy may project is lost as you sense yours or others embarrassment and disgust. Also many find a little bit of clothing that creates mystery far more "sexy" than the totally naked body.

That's my few cents worth anyway.

Muzza cool

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Bess, It's called class, and "showing it all" doesn't have any, whether one is talking about a stripper, a celebrity or anyone else.

I had a violin teacher who used to tell me to take as much emotion to the edge in a piece without "going over the top," because "less is more." He said, whether it's the length of time one plays or the amount of emotion, "too much is common, even 'vulgar.'" He used to say, "Don't oversaturate the audience by playing too long--leave them wanting more." I agree.

Whether it's "personality," wink or anything else, showing it all leaves nothing to the imagination--where is the fantasy and the mystery? Fantasy and mystery exudes class. Exhibitionism destroys that whole mystique.

You're perfectly on target to be disgusted with that show. You obviously have class!

smile --Darlene

PS Youngsters now are indeed desensitized to not only nudity, but they've grown up in a time that's lost a lot of fantasy, mystery and class to "in-your-face reality," spawned by reality shows and brash rudeness. It's not their fault, but I think YOUR kids just feel comfortable at home--also boys are more comfortable in their skins than girls at that age. Judging from your example, I'm sure YOUR kids are doing alright!

wink

smile --Darlene

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