James Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 ..is a new thread brought to you by James (that's me). I've been working on this for months, and you might say this is the first episode, kind of an introductary episode.I forsee "Harem Talk" as being in the spirit of other classic EC.Com threads such as "Word Association", "Name That Baseball Player", "Continue The Story" and my alltime favorite that never made it past the pilot:"ARE THEY REAL, OR NOT?? - Ask Tony Cartmill " Anyway, guys with harem problems will chime in, guys looking to form harems, girls in harems, girls looking to join harems etc etc etc. Anything harem goes.Subjects that I forsee being discussed include:1. A fella might run into a situation, where one of the members of his harem can't clip his toenails without getting in the way of the TV Set (this is a common problem, and can be very irritating).I forsee this fella networking here on Harem Talk, asking advice from other fellas that have encountered this problem, and who thus can share remedial success stories.2. A male might have a member of his harem facing retirement (19 year old mandatory retirement in the case of The James Harem), and needs to recruit a replacement. "Harem Talk" would be an ideal place to network for this purpose. As an aside, chicks that have dumped Hollies have been excellent recruiting grounds for The James Harem (The James Harem puts a high premium on chicks with wisdom).I may even from time to time share some experiences I've had in The James Harem. Like the one back in the 70s when Chris Evert refused to show up for Wimbledon, because she was afraid she'd miss her "night with James". She was also paranoid (rightly so in this case) that Carling Bassett was conspiring to take her place in The James Harem. Oh lands, chicks can be so labor intensive! Just the memory of that drama makes me tired.. Anyway, I guess I really see "Harem Talk" as being a public resource, kind of a free public service. It's my (James') way of giving back to the community, that has done so much for me..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hollies65 Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 I look forward to more thought provoking entries in this thread. I'm sure I speak for many when I say that this thread is long overdue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJ Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 Where is my noose? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angelina Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 I look forward to learning the ways!John Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TOMMY TUNES Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 I shiver with an-ti-ci-pation of your next post James. Great idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muzza Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 James.... I will only be able to post when Miss Kiwi is out otherwise she will be peering over my shoulder trying to edit/censor what I post. However, I look forward the future of this thread. Muzza Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elle4ec Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 Oh my "Sweet Baby James" is my command" - How to be sub- missive, but sexy 24/7. 3. "Talk Harem to me" - How to whisper "sultry sayings" to drive your Sheik or Harem Master wild every time... 4. How to dress for success the "Harem Harlot" way. 5. Man-pleasing skills, including exclusive training from my personal best seller: "How to Please Your Man in 60 seconds... Or 60 Minutes" (Whatever comes first). 6. How to survive (and thrive) Harem living without resorting to violence. Motto: "Share and share alike".I see that you are continuing to have problems with TV viewing and toenail clipping.I've included a "sneak peak" to our "stripper- pole training video ": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fWar5i9TAI Hopefully, this video will provide a satisfactory solution to your common problem. Our "Harem Babe" members have reported hanging upside down on the pole (above the view of the TV) and either using their teeth or traditional clippers, (depending on the "pole prowess" of the individual), for a private "pedicure party". Using this method, many Harem Masters have reported increased pleasure during toenail clipping, and a subsequent decreased need for channel flipping. A few of our clinical trial participants have actually reported the added benefit of a substantial decrease in the attachment to their remote control... (Some even forgot the fact that they even had a TV in the room)!I hope our club and its members can offer a continual resource to "The James Harem, Inc".We'd like to include your harem to our lengthy list of satisfied customers. If myself or any of our members may be of service to your noble cause, please contact me.I'll be waiting in breathless anticipation until the next installment of "Harem Talk"...As always, keepin' it "spicy-sweet",Elle, President, "Naughty, but Nice Spice Girl's Club"BTW: Are these type of threads supposed to go to the Cartoon World forum? (I don't want to offend anyone.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted March 16, 2009 Author Share Posted March 16, 2009 Gosh Muzz, a Chaplain would be great! And it'd be good business for you to network here at Harem Talk. With all the marryin going on, you ought to pick up a Chaplain gig or two, I'm sure of it. And harem weddings are really good Chaplain business. Harems have economies of scale. That might be too technical a term for most, but what I mean is you can charge per harem member, but only have to officiate one ceremony!! It's a great deal!! Golly, the more I think about it, the more I realize that Harem Talk is fertile ground for the Chaplain business. You may have hit a goldmine Muzz! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted March 16, 2009 Author Share Posted March 16, 2009 And Elle, while your post was enjoyed by James (James appreciates quality creativity) this "Naughty But Nice" Chick club ... sounds dangerous. You see, large groups of "healthy" chicks make in-demand males like James nervous. Just ask Elvis and the Beatles. While Elvis and the Beatles "at-risk for being mauled by large groups of healthy chicks" status was less than James', they have a feel for what I'm talking about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elle4ec Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 James... are you saying you only chose "unhealthy" chicks for your Harem? Even Eric mentioned on a previous thread that he appreciated "stripper-pole prowess"... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 You GO GIRL!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elle4ec Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 Thanks Lisa... Our little clubs official "SEX-cretary Of State"!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 What the hell does he mean by heathy? usually men mean fat. good. i am 5'1" 106 and the only harems I belong to are E's and Tommy's... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted March 16, 2009 Author Share Posted March 16, 2009 "Healthy" does not mean fat. It means a female that appreciates the company of a good male.In the case of James:healthy = the worldwide sisterhood Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elle4ec Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 In that case, I'm "Healthy". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muzza Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 James... I'm not sure I can cope with being in this here thread for too long as my glasses keep fogging up!!! Muzza Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HT from Mo Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Ummmm.... I think that James is referring to "healthy" in terms of the "girls" are proportionate in size..... That's where most men's eyes seem to wander to when they first meet a woman. IMHO.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Cartmill Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 And my wife wonders why I waste so much time on ec.com..."How can you say that, dear, when I missed the first day of Harem Talk?"James, did you ever have a chance encounter with Ginger Lynn in the 80's? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shelley Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 James Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim From Wisconsin Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 I wish when I was married that my wife would have let me have a nice harem. Now that I've been single again for 11 years the women aren't as intruiged Tim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted March 17, 2009 Author Share Posted March 17, 2009 Tim, don't be too hard on your ex-wife. That's what wives are for - to restrict husbands from doing the things they enjoy. I admire them really, they do a great job at that.As an example Tim, just look at Muzz's above post. Muzz is saving face (a husband thing) by pretending he can't attend Harem Talk because of foggy glasses. When in reality we know that it was Kiwi that banned him from Harem Talk. Don't tell anyone though, husbands like to think they are in control, and do what they want. Hopefully though Muzz will be able to sneak onto Harem Talk while Kiwi is watching a soap opera, or other stuff wives do.And Shelley, I could let your post go to my head, but I know it's just a function of your gender's genetic makeup to worship James. Though I do like you a bunch in return.. HT, some men look for those things you mentioned. But The James Harem (my harem) is above that. The two main qualities we at The James Harem look for in James Harem prospects are beer fetchin speed, and toenail clipping skills. For instance take Cindy Crawford as an example. She is a champion of both toenail clipping, and beer fetching, and thus her admittance into The James Harem. She trained hard, and has received her just reward. It's just coincidental that she and some of the other James Harem members (Juliette Binoche, Sophie Marceau, Hillary etc etc) are world class beauties.And Tony my on fire witty buddy, I'm not familiar with that female you mentioned. I'll have to go through The James Harem's turned down applications from the 80s..I'm sure if she's hot she applied at one time or another.James out.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 This a joke,...right???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hollies65 Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 This is no joke. "They say this cat James is a bad Mutha F*cker" "Shut yo mouth" "I'm talkin bout James" "Keep it clean". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted March 17, 2009 Author Share Posted March 17, 2009 ..having fun, let's just have some fun.James out (again).. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockynrobyn1977 Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Please tell me good looking feet only. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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