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The Worst Song...Ever.


Bob Allen

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"Daddy Don't You Walk So Fast" by Wayne Newton, A Total Gagfest.

I can't imagine what drum roll Bahoo could be talking about in "Like A Rolling Stone." I'd bet it was the spot where Dylan comes in waaaayyyy to early on the chorus "How does it feel...." and the band is still groovin away about three beats behind ol' Bob. The band got it right, Dylan sang the phrase too early. However, that is THE MOST MAGICAL MOMENT of the entire six minute track! That screw up is what MADE the record!

ec

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And you're right about "Ebony And Ivory". It was so repulsive, I even forgot who Paul was singin' it with. An all time low for a Beatle AND Stevie Wonder. We ought to pipe that one into the mountains of Tora Bora. Osama would come screamin' outa there with his hands over his ears within the hour! ec

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I've never understood the fuss over "I Will Survive." To this day, play that song at a party and the people (especially the women) go nuts.

A couple of disco era songs that makes me cringe: "Ring My Bell" by Anita Ward, and that abysmal cover of "Knock On Wood" by Amii Stewart. Eddie Floyd's original was a classic.

Marv

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Der Kommissar - After The Fire

Rock Me Amadeus - Falco

Wild Boys - Duran Duran

I Don't Wanna Go On With You Like That - Elton John (what a clunker, sorry EJ)

I'd Do Anything For Love - Meatloaf

I'll Be There For You - Bon Jovi

Roll With The Changes - REO Speedwagon

Be Good Johnny - Men At Work

We Built This City - Starship

Anything by The Doors

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Der Kommissar - After The Fire

Rock Me Amadeus - Falco

Wild Boys - Duran Duran

I Don't Wanna Go On With You Like That - Elton John (what a clunker, sorry EJ)

I'd Do Anything For Love - Meatloaf

I'll Be There For You - Bon Jovi

Roll With The Changes - REO Speedwagon

Be Good Johnny - Men At Work

We Built This City - Starship

Anything by The Doors

Amazingly, I agree that every single "song" on this list is nothing more than dog squeeze.

But I would respectfully like to add anything by The Power Station...

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EC, you got it right....that is the exact spot!...I think you are right, Bob D came in WAyyyy too early...I just hate that spot of the song...it makes the roll sound like it should not be there, and throws the feel completely off...to my ears anyway...

I know there is another drum roll in an early Rod Stewart tune too...just can't remember which tune...

I also did Like Rolling Stone thousands of times with a band and I just cannot listen to it anymore...same goes for Brown Eyed Girl and Old Time Rock and Roll

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"You know what's really odd. Before the "Pina Collitis" nightmare, Rupert Holmes actually recorded a really, really good album called

"Widescreen" that nobody ever heard."

That was indeed a great album, as was one he did a few years later called 'Pursuit of Happiness.'

Someone mentioned Styx earlier...my god, was there EVER a band with such a consistent run of krap? It's almost stunning in its scope.

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Messrs. Sidoti and Popdude pretty much hit the nail on the head, as far as awful tunes....there's also a class of songs, most of which I'm incapable of personally naming, because I'd change the channel/station as soon as I heard the intros...and frankly, I don't know the names of such songs, nor did I ever want to! (I believe most Styx songs fit this category, BTW...)

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Regarding the earlier reference to Canned Heat's "Going Up The Country"....I suspect it was Al "Blind Owl" Wilson's vocalizing that turned people off, not the overall song. (Also possibly the obnoxious flute....I always found that odd, considering Wilson was a world-class blues harpist...)

I saw Canned Heat live in Richmond, VA around '69 or so, and unfortunately, Bob Hite, their usual lead singer, was in the hospital (accidental overdose of some sort of pharmaceutical....and sadly, not the first or last time it happened - both he & Wilson died of drug overdoses), forcing Wilson to sing all songs that night. What a nightmare....(unless you like Kermit the Frog!)

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"I Will Survive" gets the same reaction out of women as any dialogue from the movie "CaddyShack" used to get from men. It's a bonding thang! laugh

Although 99.8% of rap could qualify for this list....what really kills me is anything by Fergie. All she does is spell in her songs. Some lyrics huh? "To the D to the E to the L-I-C-I-O-U-S". It's more like N-A-U-S-E-O-U-S. She has two or three songs where the lyrical hook is spelling....and not always correct spelling.

For Fergie's follow-up album her new hit........."The Multiplication Table". "2 X 2 is 4...and I be showing you the door". "2 X 4 is 8...ain't my bling great"...and so on. It might just happen. smile

Along the same lines.....as much as I WANT to hate Justin Timberlake...I find myself listening to him and actually keeping my lunch down. Go figure. insane

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I've never understood the fuss over "I Will Survive." To this day, play that song at a party and the people (especially the women) go nuts.

A couple of disco era songs that makes me cringe: "Ring My Bell" by Anita Ward, and that abysmal cover of "Knock On Wood" by Amii Stewart. Eddie Floyd's original was a classic.

Marv

Marvin I agree with you on "I Will Survive". As a man I actually hated listening to the song but there is a cover of the song done by the rock band Cake that rocks. Love that version. I suggest you check it out. The Ad Hoc Band may even want to cover it.

Thought Amii Stewart's "Knock On Wood" along with Vicki Sue Robinson'd "Turn The Beat Around" were 2 of the best early disco songs.

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When Hollies mentioned "Timothy" by The Buoys, I thought for a moment that this one could be on the list too...

"Timothy, Timothy, Joe was lookin' at you

Timothy, Timothy, God what did we do?"

Ahhh...there's nothin' like a good snack!

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Easy to see...looking at everyone's lists and nominations...that it isn't just today...there has ALWAYS been cruddy music.

As such...there has always been great music too. It's just that we can't collectively agree on which is which.

As a result...The CW McCalls etc. of this world score hits.

[side note re: I Will Survive...A portion of the instrumental was used in ROCKY. As he's working out and finally makes it, with ease, up to the top of the stairs signifying that he's 'ready'...there it is...playing underneath.]

Daddy Don't You Walk So Fast indeed. An all-time hunk of doo Eric. Danke Schoen too.

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And you're right about "Ebony And Ivory". It was so repulsive, I even forgot who Paul was singin' it with. An all time low for a Beatle AND Stevie Wonder. We ought to pipe that one into the mountains of Tora Bora. Osama would come screamin' outa there with his hands over his ears within the hour! ec

Kudos to Eric. He got a good chuckle outta me

early in the a.m. I've always said that we

have some of the best interrogation techninques

available, w/ sucky singers, known to mankind

without 'water-boarding' or whatever!

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man, some of the songs listed here as vomitorium material are just undeserving - 'burning love' by Elvis? hello? thats classic stuff - *great* song! eric cracked me up w/ mention of my favorite cheezefest by wayne newton - 'daddy dont you walk so fast'; i mean, c'mon EC, you gotta give props to a great melody & major hooks in the chorus! plus the sheer melodrama of the Newt delivering it for us in all his rapturous glory! gagfest? - i think not; seriously ripe cheezefest? - ok, sure, but a damn fine slice of it

its funny how some of the very catchiest songs are so reviled by people - i mean 'freeze frame' is totally undeserving of such a brutal treatment. & i can never understand why people love to hate 'seasons in the sun' by terry jacks & 'pina colada song' by rupert holmes. on a footnote, & speaking of 'seasons in the sun', one of the funniest websites is the Gear Change Hall of Shame - a website dedicated to what the host considers unnecessary & offensive use of the ol' mid/end-of-song key change hat trick, which i've noticed Eric mainly stays away from - instead he just writes a bad-ass bridge & a chorus so hooked-out it doesn't need a key change!

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