Eric Carmen, what kind of man...?

[Simdonnaj91258]

We discuss Eric's music here all the time, but we never ask what kind of man we think he is. I imagine him, through his songs and the lyrics. Sensitive, caring, very romantic. Passionate, and loving. Gentle, good natured. Wonderful husband and loving father. Do we ever wonder about him, the person and what he does in regular life? I know I do. How about anyone else?

Donna

[LostControl]

I have to admit, I wonder a lot about the raunchy songs of the past. I've noticed they're gone on the latest album (sigh), but when he sang:

"Then she put my hand in her pants

And she said, "Come on, take me

I want your love to break me

Make it like it's never been before

Because, tonight you're mine"

I have to admit, I thought he was pretty juvenile, yet intestestingly intoxicating.

I assume he's been through a lot of painful relationships in the past, based on his songs. From the articles I've read about him, he sounds very articulate, and very caring towards his family. Maybe we'll have to ask him to a chat here on this website, so we can get to find out what his personality is really like!

Michelle

[aggiesjc]

My guess is that he's intelligent, introspective, and driven at whatever he chooses to do. Having seen very little of him on television, it's hard to say, but he seems quite good natured and in good humor in the bits I've seen.

[marvin]

My guess is that Eric the "family man" is very different from Eric the "musician."

Marvin

[darlene]

This is a really interesting question, but just think how strange we would feel if each one of us were the subject of a "I wonder what he/she is really like?" query! (We should do that sometime, each of us become the subject of Simdonnaj's question: "What does everyone think Darlene is really like?" "What does everyone think Kirk is really like?" etc. Then we'll get an idea of what poor Eric goes through all the time (and every other celebrity!)

My guess, since I guess I'm taking one, is that he is a super-genius at most things: very intelligent, perceptive, and most importantly of all for someone in the arts (AND for a daddy and family man): intuitive. Absolutely intuitive.

Just from his music, I feel he must be a VERY sensitive and feeling, empathic person, and a very articulate communicator, whether with words, music or feelings. In fact, I have met Eric once or twice after performances, and he was gracious enough to speak to two of my girlfriends and me for quite some time after his opening night at The Bottom Line in New York City, and he was very friendly, very interested in the person to whom he was speaking at the time, very genuine, interesting and witty -- in short a fantastic conversationalist who put you totally at ease, and was very complimentary to the bargain.

I think Eric is a total package and don't think Eric the family man is any different from Eric the musician. I think he approaches everything he does with the same perfectionism, and is interested in everything, and that's why he's so interesting.

Top all of that off with the talent, honesty and sense of playfulness and humor of Mozart, and you kind of get the picture. Now, Bernie, how close did I come? --Darlene

[JuliaAllByMyself]

I've been lucky enough to meet Eric too (I still can't believe it!) and I can honestly say that he is thoughtful, kind, friendly, good natured and genuine ~ everything that you would hope he would be. He's lovely. Thank you, Eric, from the bottom of my heart.

[Tony Cartmill]

Oh sure, he's nice to the hot chicks...But how does he treat us forty-something guys with pot bellies and thinning hair?

[Steveh]

Great topic, Donna! I've never met Eric so all I have to base my guess on are his songs. In that case, the descriptions by Donna, Julia, Michelle, and Darlene seem most likely. I imagine Eric to be sensitive, warm, kind, genuine, and honest -- and I would be disappointed and surprised if I found out he wasn't. Hey, what about his fans? Are there certain qualities about his fans that attract us to him?

Steveh

[darlene]

Tony, Tony, Tony! You're such a Doubting Thomas, your name should be "Tommy!" REALLY, I've been to so many of The Raspberries' and Eric's shows that I've had a chance to observe him talking to ALL KINDS OF PEOPLE -- lots of guys included.

In fact, I would almost bet (like most guys) he'd probably almost rather talk to guys more, because of the "male-communicating-with-male-is- much- easier" thing. Also, he's avidly into baseball, and I'm sure he'd much rather talk about that than put a lot of starstruck females at ease, which he's also very good at. (I ran into someone once at a polka weekend who graduated with him from high school and the guy said he was REALLY into baseball).

Anyway, I know Bernie can back me up on this, and I hope you get to meet Eric someday so you'll stop being so cynical. And I'll bet your hair isn't nearly as thin as you think it looks! --Darlene

[Tony Cartmill]

The closest thing I had to meeting Eric, was meeting Bruce Johnston of the Beach Boys and talking about his vocal arrangements he did for Eric during the "Boats..." sessions. He said Eric was a nice guy and a talented songwriter, but all he wanted to talk about is why my store, Guitar Center, didn't carry his favorite composing software. Sorry Bruce...get over it! I did compliment him for writing "Disney Girls" and "I Write The Songs", then kicked him out of my store. (Kidding)

[darlene]

Steveh, Just a sidelight: I've often thought about the high caliber of people on this message board, and it really does say something about what kind of terrific musician/person attracts such intelligent, passionately interested and warm, wonderful people who post on this message board (not to mention Bernie, who is the absolute BEST!)

I never posted on message boards or entered chat rooms because I was always apprehensive about the kind of people one might meet (stalkers, etc.). I approached this board very tentatively, but soon found that the people here are just the best. It seems no accident that Eric/Raspberries and their music have gathered together some of the finest people in the world, from all over the world.

Kudos Eric, Bernie and Everyone on the Board! --Darlene

[Steveh]

Darlene,

Very true. You are really articulate. This is by far my favorite website, and the only one in which I post ñ for the reasons you already stated. And it's even good to have some doubting Thomases ñ because it can be fun to debate!

Steveh

[Tony Cartmill]

Debate keeps the brain cells sharp. Life has more meaning and passion when you feel strongly about your beliefs and are willing to defend your opinions. So is it OK for me stir up the pot sometimes with some non-P.C. comments?

[darlene]

Tony, YEP!!! I am teasing you about that Doubting Thomas stuff. You really are quite a guy, and your comments are cute...--Darlene

[Simdonnaj91258]

I have been wanting to post this question here for a while, but I didn't know what kind of response it would recieve. Thank you all for replying.

I am not so good at the music conversations that you all have here. I know what I love, and Eric's music has always been my shining light. Saving me from a lot of heartache and pains through the years.

I just wanted to say thanks again. I wish with all my heart and soul that I could be as fortunate as some of you here to have met Eric. Just once, if only for a short time, them my life would be complete. I sound like a love sick teenager, sorry.

Have a great weekend all. Love to Bernie. Love and hugs to Eric. Thank you for always giving to us, your fans. Donna

[JuliaD]

Donna, I agree with all the words you've used to describe Eric, he probably is all those things. But I also think there's another side to him. I think he owns a lot of self-doubt, and that when it comes to his career advancing, sometimes he can be his own worst enemy. Not that he doesn't have a great career, just that he seems to never think things are good enough, and probably passes on a lot of opportunities that would have made him even more popular, more wealthy, etc.

I also think he's very much a perfectionist, not only of himself, but of others, and my guess would be, he can be difficult to work with. This isn't putting him down, I'd be willing to work with him any day (lol), it's just that I do think he *is* this way... and you asked what I thought :p

[darlene]

JuliaD, I'm a perfectionist. I used to be a "terrible" perfectionist (my husband thinks I still am!) -- "terrible" in the way that I just had to have every detail perfect, whether it was doing the laundry (you can't possibly imagine how upset I would be if my husband went out to the garage in his socks and I couldn't get them "Clorox" white! -- I'd throw them away, but not without yelling at him about how depressing it was to pull something out of the dryer that didn't look clean!) or cleaning the house, (and "you'd better keep it that way!") or playing violin (I'd practice relentlessly and wouldn't go to bed till something was "perfect").

I still am, but, without sacrificing my standards one bit, I've learned to not kill myself over something (I still throw socks out and get things perfect!), but I try not to experience the "angst" that goes with it! In short, I don't "beat myself up" so much (or berate my husband), and think "Okay, so it's not perfect. It's no reflection on

my talents."

When you are a perfectionist and a performance career is on the line, it really is difficult not to want yourself and others to be as near perfect as possible, because one perceives that the entire audience (and world) perception of you and your music is at stake, and often, it is.

I think you have a very valid point. People like us (perfectionists, or artists with very high standards) are sometimes perceived as "difficult to work with," and maybe we are, but one fact about perfectionists is that they are so attendant to detail (and, maybe because of that, intelligent and even geniuses) that their perception is usually correct. Add to that Virgos are sticklers for details being perfect (Eric is a Leo but on the cusp and I imagine very close to Virgo). I'm a Virgo. Oh well. I too wish some opportunity would come along that he finds acceptable and that he feels he is ready for.

The sad thing is that perfectionists' worst jobs are better than everyone else's most superior. Just as a sidelight, I wonder if Eric ever suffers from migraine headaches. I do, and so do most perfectionists.... --Darlene

[darlene]

JuliaD, I just thought of a line from "Boats:"

"Perfection is consuming, and it seems we're only human after all, and we've both been takin' the fall..."

Oh boy, this puts a whole new light on "Boats" too. It really is a depressing song in light of those lines, especially, "But tomorrow, we'll run a little bit faster..." when one realizes this was an "ironic" chorus, that Eric really didn't believe he was going to find what he was after.

Yep, perfection is certainly consuming, and the stress can literally kill someone. But the good news is that perfectionism is manufactured in the mind of the perfectionist, and it's so unnecessary!

The world always perceives these people and their work as magnificent, but the perfectionist's work is never good enough to suit himself, because his standards are so impossibly high. I have a feeling Eric's music attracts a lot of perfectionists to this board...It would be interesting to hear how many posters here are... What about it everyone, are YOU a perfectionist?

--Darlene

[Steveh]

Darlene,

I don't consider myself a perfectionist, although I have high standards for myself in many areas. For example, if I'm painting my house, I want it to look nice but I'm not going to worry about every little detail because this would take forever. There are other things I want to do with my time (like be on this website). I tend to get chores done quickly so I can relax and have some fun! Well what areas of my life do I set high standards? Pizza, relationships (honesty, respect, humor, etc.), my level of fitness and health ñ maybe I'll think of more later! Good topic, Darlene! And be easy on yourself!

Steveh

[JuliaD]

Darlene, I'm a Virgo... 9/5 I turned 49...

Hey, by the way, all Jan L's stuff was auctioned off today...

[darlene]

JuliaD, A fellow Virgo. HMMM...Poor Jan L. That really shows how careful a band leader has to be in order to protect himself from lawsuits in the case of a fatal bus accident. So many polka bands are only weekend bands, and when everyone has a day job, they rush to get to gigs. I used to be among the many weekend musicians...I can still remember running to catch the bus to catch a plane etc., and we had several near misses when the bus driver was driving so fast.

Once he topped a hill and had nowhere to go due to an accident right in front of us. I was sleeping in a bunk one night and the bus turned almost upside down and we all nearly fell out of our bunks. We wound up on the grass median. It was a miracle we weren't killed.

I wish Jan and surviving members of the band the best. I am still mourning the loss of my good friend Tom Karas from that accident. I got to be real buddies with him when he played with our band. His brother still does. --Darlene

[Gregkevinw]

juliad/darlene

make that a trio of virgo's...(9/1).

and yes i have in the past driven myself crazy trying to get things..."just so."

for me it began to change when my wife and i had children.....with three busy kids...sometimes just getting it done is as good as it gets.

children also taught me to be more accepting of people and circumstance, because they are so open to the world, and i was anything but.

so i can completely relate, i think we all should lighten up on ourselvess.....(i'm not going to fix that, i'm not going to fix that...see theres hope for me yet!)

[Raspbernie]

Perfectionist? Guilty as charged! --Bernie

[darlene]

Bernie, Since you know Eric better than any of us, I'm wondering how close I came in my first description of him (when I asked, "Okay, Bernie, how close did I come?") At least, all that is what I seem to get from his music. --Darlene

[Matthew C. Clark]

My birthday is May 5 (Taurus) & that same day, MTV News anchor & Rolling Stone Magazine writer Kurt Loder has the same birthday as well. Matt