Eric, I don't visit this site very often, so I just read this thread for the first time. I think it's one of my top-ten favorite posts of yours!
All bands are eventually killed by conflicts of commitment and priorities. It's one of the most frustrating things to be on a team, to be putting in the most effort, to be generating a significant aspect of the success and being resented for it. Been there. The phony PR image of happy, democratic bands, along with my own tendency towards generosity definitely cost me big-time in group-based creative endeavors. Seems like you chose the right time to get out.
I'm not trying to besmirch the other Raspberries, but I honestly can't imagine them ever making it out of Ohio without you. I guess that has been proven by their collective post-berries anonymity.
In assessing any situation, reality always wins.