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Lew Bundles

And the journey begins...CT/NY/NJ

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James   

Haitians are black, and speak a lot of French, not Spanish. I´ll stick with my intelligence network. : )

And, if you 3 ever make it to the Mexico/USA border, you better find a spot on the Rio Grande where nobody will see you and swim across. Unlike the USA, Mexico is smart
and cares about who comes into their country, and thus would NEVER allow you 3 in legally, unless you paid the Mexican border cop $1, then you´d probably get in.

Anyway Lew, I´m sure the Haitians will spring you from jail today, you can then find a Haitian voo doo chick,  for a small fee she can voo doo you into flying like a bird, over the Caribbean and directly to Panamá, where my squad will be awaiting. Awaiting. Heh.

P.S. during your time, Lew, as a bird, flying freely but not without the need to appease certain bodily functions ...please be strategic with your Lew droppings. Don´t drop on the good guys: James, Salma Hayek, Jamaican Rastafarians etc. Bad guys: Cuban govt, Democrat politicians yachting it up in the Caribbean...without masks, fish that bit James in the past etc.

Have a good trip Señor Lew!

(cue Vincent Price).....Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha......... HA! ....HA HA...ha ha.

: )

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I have been sitting at the Mexican border for two days...Either Mexico is closed or they moved it...Clara Bell is starting to ferment...

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Well, we did not have passports to get into Mexico...So we were sent back to a hotel awaiting the arrival of passports...We had a great time: we ate every night at this wonderful Black-Mexican restaurant called Nacho Mama’s...


Every day we would hurry to the hotel mailbox hoping our passports would arrive, but due to Coronavirus shutdowns, there is no concrete timetable as to when our passports would arrive...

Initially, Clara Bell’s passport was rejected...Instead of checking the application box for either “Male” or ”Female”, she checked “Other” and wrote in “Bovine”...The government rejected this application and wanted proof for BOVINE status...We sent a video of Lester milking her in the morning and that did the trick...

This gave us another idea...instead of waiting, we remembered what the Mexican customs officer said...”No passport or pesos...no entrada”...

We needed money, and quickly, in order to grease the palm of the greasy custom agent...

As we sat by the pool one day(it wasn’t very hot as Clara Bell gives off a lot of shade), Lester was making his girl happy by playing her favorite album on a Bose radio, Flabby Road” by the Beatles...

She was reading the newspaper(her favorite columnist was Dear Flabby) when I noticed in an advertisement that there was a livestock contest in El Paso...

We decided to enter Clara Bell...We dressed her in a “moo moo”, polished her antlers and “voila” she won first prize...10,000 pesos....

We went back to the border, slipped the custom agent 5000 pesos, and “bingo”, he let us in...Next stop, GUATAMALA...
 

James, we are a comin”...

P.S.-James is starting to feel the pressure...I noticed that he hasn’t been around the board in awhile...It won’t help James...You can run, but you can’t hide...”THIS DOG WILL HUNT”

 

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Kirk   

Lew, you're carrying too much extra baggage (leather, I assume). Time to dump Clara and Lester before you forget why you left the states in the first place...

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(Going against Kirk’s suggestion), Lester, Clara Bell and I are at the Belize border...

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Just one little set back...As we approached the Customs agent, I asked,

”Que manera de encontrar a James”...

The Customs agent looked at me and said, “This is Belize...This is not the United States...We speak English here”...

We forgot that Belize is the only Central American country that speaks English...

Lester said, “Well, dag nabbit...Who’d a thunk it?...

The Custom Officer said, “ENGLISH...NOT AMERICAN”...

 

He waved us through and we continued our journey...

JAMES, WE ARE A COMIN’...

 

P.S....This made me think of a spontaneous work of art...

 

James has disappeared...

It looks like, he’s hidin’...

Maybe he’s holed up in his basement, 

Just like Joe Biden...

 

 

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And the Beat Goes On...

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This little “goober” pictured above says she was sent by James to stop me, Lester and Clara Bell from advancing any further...

Out of the way honey...Clara is on a mission...You just might be dessert...

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James   

Kirk, re: the moat.

The grocery is selling frozen White Castle hamburgers again. I have stocked up, and have also constructed a gas pipe going from my condo to the moat. The gas is created organically (via James and White Castle hamburgers), input into the gas pipe (details on how not forthcoming)...where it exits into the moat.

The government has passed a law that there can be no matches lit within 1 mile of James´ home. I´ve created a mini crisis here in Panamá. 

Anyway.

Bottom line:  there is nobody on Earth who will be able to pass thru the moat, and get to James. Not even that band "Lew and the Perverts".

Heh.

 

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James   

An international natural gas exploration company just showed up at the beach where I live, with a ton of equipment,
....cuz their geigers are showing signs of a potent natural gas reservoir.

:blush:

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James   

Also I live near a fisherman´s association, where they keep their old man & the sea fishing boats on our beach. Friendly guys. In fact the fishermen told me
they were excited, as they have spotted a school of whales approaching our area.

Anyway, they showed me the photos of what they were talking about. When I saw the photos, I realized that the so called whales, were actually Clara, Lester & their remora, Lew.... trying to breach Panamá via a swim in the Pacific Ocean.

Hmmm, should I let the fishermen go after this "school of whales" with their spears? Hmmmmm...

To be continued..

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In case you haven’t heard, I have had to temporarily return to the U.S. to attend the Black Lives Matter vs. Raspberries court case which starts tomorrow...

Lester and Clara Bell have stayed behind in Nicaragua and will await my return...

P.S....Before I left, Lester showed me the weirdest thing...He has an Etch-A-Sketch...But it’s no ordinary Sketch...
When he was two years old, his grandfather died and they had him cremated...They put his ashes in the Etch-A-Sketch and Lester got to play with his grandpa all the time...

😐”Hi grandpa,(twiddle twiddle)...Let’s play”(twiddle, twiddle)...

P.P.S...When I was born, they named ME after MY grandfather. It was so weird to be three years old with everybody calling you “gramps”......

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James   

Funny, a year ago I bought a bunch of toys from back in the day (searched for them on amazon)...slinky, battleship, monopoloy foozball, air hockey, operation etc. Bought them for kids (and adults) who visit our office and spend time in our reception area. A couple Etch-A- Sketch devices was one I bought also.

Now when I look at the "sand" in the device, I´ll never see it the same. Lew, you´re weird....and that´s pretty bad coming from a great weirdo (me) himself. : )

P.S. We´re waiting for the Raspberries vs. BLM. Want to see that thread. 

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