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Lew Bundles

Bernie...Let me take over

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Bernie, I have heard from all corners of the globe and have been pressured by the true bastions of the democratic process to let the masses do the talking,,,We have heard from many political dignitaries from far reaching lands like Cuba, Russia and Panama(Castro, Putin and James) respectively, and all have stressed that the belief in the rank and file vote leads to a spirit of co-operation amongst the masses and invigorates the members of  said community:  THEREFORE: Bernie...I implore you to honor the results of the following mandates and I will abide by the decision in my typically most honorable and humble application...

 

 

A few years ago, I  actively campaigning for the job of ec.com moderater and held a press conference upon my appointment...Bernie had given me the job, but rescinded the offer shortly thereafter:(the timing may not have been right)...Here is the transcript of that event...

QUESTION: Now that you have been appointed moderator, what changes can we look forward to?
LEW: We will try to make this as seamless a transition as possible...I have outlined some of the major changes:

 

#1-PAY TO POST...We will be instituting a "Pay To Post" mandate on the board...All the money collected will be used to fund transportation to future Raspberries reunion concerts...Any needy registered fans can apply for the grant...We will start the "PAY FOR POST" program on a trial basis with LC, Sue, Kirk and Craig...(They are a natural starting point since they are the most frequent posters)...The charge will be 1 cent per letter and invoices will be sent out at the end of the month with checks to be made out to "Lew Bundles" within the next billing cycle.

 

#2-NEW TOPIC HEADINGS...We will create new thought provoking headings which are sure to stimulate discussion during Raspberriesless periods...(Topics, therefore will remain up for 30 years at a time)...Examples of topics...

 

A.) The American Indian-From Navajo to Patel.
B.) Driving through the Ahmish country with your lights off.
C.) Everybody "Wang Chunging" this evening?


#3-WAB attendance will be by invitation only...NO EXCEPTION...(While we appreciate Jim,Eric and the crew's participation, please, dont attend unless you are formally invited by me)..."NO INVITATION,NO PARTICIPATION"...(P.S....The name of the event will now be changed to "WEEKEND AT BUNDLES"...This gives us the ability to still sell the WAB memoribilia that BERNIE has slated for next years event)...

Other changes will not seem so obvious...For instance:

.
Everyone's second favorite singer will now be Desi Arnaz...


QUESTION: How about the new Cabinet members that you had alluded to in previous posts?
LEW: I'm glad you asked that,Bim...
All selections are on a 30 day, trial based, appointment basis...

Here are my appointees:

Sec.of Foreign Affairs-MARVIN...He wil keep track of all foreigners on the board and report to me when they are having affairs...Since Marvin is an alien, I believe he is the most qualified to monitor suspicious activity in our immigrant posters...So be it, Adventurine, wmvririezen or ,canadianchick ... BEWARE...Marvin will be watching you...(P.S....Kiwi and Muzza are married...They are immune unless they start to philander with another...)

Sec. of Secretaries...JAMES...By the way he has been able to ,suavely, take LEWISA away from me, I trust his judgement in hot women...Since I will need a Secretary, James will scour the board for the lady with the highest credentials to adorn Lew's lap and take dictation...(Sorry, girls, NO BEA ARTHUR types or any other Bea's (including Aunt Bee or Bea Benaderet) ...With those paramaters in mind, ladies, get your resumes into James as quickly as possible...(Mustaches are ok as long as they are neat and trimmed...And for any Chinese applicants, please, no pieces of cat from your last meal in your facial hair)...

Secretary of the Interior...Tony Cartmill...He will be in charge of ridding this kingdom of village idiots...I will give him a starter list of possible candidates and see how Tony justifies their idiocy or lack thereof...The initial list-

 

Tony (himself)

MARLENE

KIRK

Mind you, I am not claiming that any of these people are village idiots...I want to see Tony's grading method and will make the proper decision from there...This is strictly a trial list...

Court Jester...Tommy Tunes...Many of you do not know Tommy Tunes...We need him back here...Paul Mccartney once said that Jude could" take a sad song and make it better"...Well, TT(AS WE REFER TO HIM) can take any goofy situation and make it worse...Originally, I was going to hold the position of court jester, but upon studying his picture(TT is pictured in my avatar), I realized that he looked funnier than I did in the grass skirt...I promise, that if TT takes the position, we will re-shoot the photo wearing the traditional Court Jester outfit but only modernized, all tight, tight,  green spandex and bells.. then you will really see a couple  of "nuts"...

SPRITUAL ADVISOR...Muzza(obvious)

THE FIRST LADY...Elle...You can be the next woman in line to be stolen away by James in my life...Take this offer seriously...Lewisa did and look at her career advancement...

That about wraps up my preliminary findings...

I will be away from my computer for the next couple of weeks while I finish my move into the Sayreville complex...On that note, I'd like to thank Bernie for all that he has done for us here at EC.com and I'm sure that he will land on his feet somewhere...As soon as you find a new place to live Bern, let us know so we can get your honorary invitation to the next WAB mailed out to your new address...

Thanks everyone for your support, LEW 

 

 

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James   

I would be honored to be S of S, Lew. But Lewisa, on the other hand, says it won't work. She says all the hot applicants to be Lew' s secretary, after meeting James for the interview, will throw rocks at Lew and demand to "work" for James directly. She says you should hire someone where this would be zero risk. She suggests Tony Cartmill. I have to agree with her suggestion.

Anyway, when they invented the internet thing "LOL"......they must have been reading a post by Lew, cuz he's got me doing just that !

Another great one. Thanks again Lew!

James

 

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I think there should be some requirements

 

  1. You must wear something under the grass shirt
  2. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip
  3. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity
  4. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 

Please continue

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Kirk   

I did some rough calculations...where do I send my check for $2,356,854- please wait until the 1st to cash it!

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Dearest Elle...It has been brought to my attention that using you as a guinea pig in Tony Cartmill’s evaluation of Secretary of State skills was improper and wasteful of your talents..So, you have been removed from that list and have been nominated for a different position...See above...

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elle4ec   
13 hours ago, Lew Bundles said:

Bernie, I have heard from all corners of the globe and have been pressured by the true bastions of the democratic process to let the masses do the talking,,,We have heard from many political dignitaries from far reaching lands like Cuba, Russia and Panama(Castro, Putin and James) respectively, and all have stressed that the belief in the rank and file vote leads to a spirit of co-operation amongst the masses and invigorates the members of  said community:  THEREFORE: Bernie...I implore you to honor the results of the following mandates and I will abide by the decision in my typically most honorable and humble application...

THE FIRST LADY...Elle...You can be the next woman in line to be stolen away by James in my life...Take this offer seriously...Lewisa did and look at her career advancement...

 

Dear Lew,  while I’m happy that you’ve been enlightened to the err’s of your ways and have edited your initial post, and I am very flattered at the generous offer of being appointed, “The First Lady”, I’ll have to say that I’m not fully convinced of the validity of your proposal, and worry if your intentions truly are honorable ones. Still, I must admit, a “Weekend At Bundles” does sound very enticing (to say the least).  So, before I were to accept a trial appointment as “First Lady” (For a period not to exceed 90 days, then I’ll make my final decision. After all, we wouldn’t want the same mass exodus of your Cabinet members, much like our own President Trump has witnessed, now would we?😉), I do have one very pertinent question for you:  If I were to accept your proposal, does that mean that my application to the “James Harem” would then become null and void?? If so, then we might have a deal-breaker on our hands. For, even though my application to the elite Harem is now ten years-old, my persistent passion and fantasies of clipping James’ sexy toenails has never waned in all this time. So forgive me, if I’m just not fully convinced that accepting your proposal at this point, would be a smart move on my part, as I’ll never give up my hopes to be with “King James”. For, as the popular saying goes, 

“Once you go James...you’re never the same” 😍❤️😘

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Dearest Elle...While I appreciate your concerns, as leader of this board, James is answerable to me now...He is an underling...When, you originally applied to his harem, you were denied because of age requirements(by your photo and my mathematical prowess, ) you look like you were nineteen then, adding ten years and 29 seems like a match, with your age, picture, now...18 was his cutoff age...Although, I trust James’ judgement, I feel that he should make the final call...I defer to James on this one...

P.s....You can be my ”underling” anytime...

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James   

Elle is a very wise lady. Yes, she is.

But we at the James Harem to not want to hinder the progress of ANY of our rejected applicants.  Even those old ones (over 19) .

As you can see DianedD has been rejected now 14,001 times,  but we support her moving forward and are very happy that she is
running a successful business and living a productive life, and most importantly that she "would", "could" and "still does".  

So Lew, Elle, .......in the spirit of DianeD´s "still does", yes, I believe it would be a great move forward  for Elle if she were to choose to..... ........"do with Lew".

Please carry-on, 

:-)

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