Lew Bundles

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About Lew Bundles

  • Rank
    Supporter
  • Birthday 12/28/53

Profile Information

  • Gender Male
  • Location Morris Cove
  • Favorite Eric Carmen Album I'm Through With Lew
  • Favorite Eric Carmen Song Bundles Against Current

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  1. Captivity-Week #1

    Thanks for the package today, James...Prison is a lonely place with very little contact with the outside world...I received it today and will honor your markings on it "Do Not Open Til Dec 28"...
  2. Happy Birthday too you Lew! Hope you have fun!!

    cynthiaalma

  3. The Robotic Movie Project!

    This is actually very well done...Who is this Captain Harlock?...
  4. Why Martin Luther King Day is one of My Favorite Holidays

    As a salute to MLK and my ":brothers", I have decided to re-post one of my most poignant Newsletters from Feb. 2013...About 2 years ago, I had learned that Daddy Bundles and Mama Bundles had moved to South Africa whilePapa was a member of the Italian Armed Forces...Mama Bundles, while being stationed in South Africa with Dad, had given birth to me, Lewis J. Bundles...Therefore, I am an African-American...Since this realization, I have developed a vociferous appetite in collecting BLACK history memoribilia(I still have the purplish rash on the inside of my right thigh as a premiere showpiece from my first encounter with a black hooker, "Lampisha" many years ago)... Now, in an effort to celebrateBLACK HISTORY MONTH, I have discovered a rare piece of film footage from Martin LEWthur King's "I HAVE A DREAM" speech...This unedited version has never seen the light of day, so I am proud to display the text for all my friends here...(The comments in RED represent the supporters in the audience as they voice their approval and spur Dr. King to keep revealing his dreams... "I HAVE A DREAM that one day, in the not so distant future, our country will be run into the ground by our first blackpresident... YEAH ...And chocolate will sit side by side with vanilla in a container of ice cream...And the OREO cookie will have two black wafers surrounding a black filling... RIGHT ON... And hockey pucks will be white so black people can smack IT around(Thanx to Bernard McGurk for this one) THAT'S RIGHT BROTHER , I MEAN DOCTOR... And I have my most important dream... TELL US ...That one day, in 2015, that the RASPBERRIES will reunite...WHAT HE SAY? ...That it would start with a simple phone call from Wally Bryson to Eric Carmen... WHO THE F*** IS THAT? ... And Eric will tell Wally that it will never work... WORK!!! THIS GUY'S TALKIN' CRAZY SHIT ... And Wally told Eric that it COULD work and that they have been friends for ever and that they have an equity built up in their relationship that should mandate that they try again...Wally said, "ERIC, I WOULD DIE FOR YOU"... EASY THERE WALLY BROTHER ...So Eric, armed with Wally's dying committment, called Dave Smalley and arranged for a rehearsal... I HAVE A DREAM, that when the boys got together... DID HE SAY "BOYS" ...they exchanged warm embraces and got ready to rehearse...Wally took off his hat and instead of his overflowing white locks, he dislayed a full head of blackhair...Eric was impressed, but asked "Did you do this in honor of Black History Month?"...Wally replied, "I told you that I would "dye" for you"... THAT'S THE DUDE THAT USED TO LOOK LIKE THAT HOLLY JOLLY CHRISTMAS GUY ... Undeterred, I Wanna Be With You was the first number...As they waited for the opening drum roll, they all glanced at the drum kit, but there was no drum kit there... SOMEBODY, ROBBED IT - NOW WE'RE RAPPIN' ...Eric announced that Jim was not invited and to have a more contemporary sound, we have a drum machine...Guys, welcome our new RASBERRY-JIM BANGPHANTOM.. DAT DERE TIN CAN GONNA DO WHA??? ...The boys were not happy about this, but "PLAYED ON"... THIS LEWTHUR GETTIN' CUTE ...After BANGPHANTOM, hit the opening drum riff, the band burst into stride, but things ground to a halt as Eric busted a string on his guitar, the "G" string to be exact...And according to the laws in 2015, Eric had to contact Obamacare to see if he was eligible for a replacement...The answer came...A resounding "NO"... THIS DUDE DONT KNOW HOW TO WORK THE JILLY ... The formal rejection provided an appeal process and Eric called the phone # attached and protested that "last week, when I was at "GRAVY BAGS", the adult entertainment club in Cleveland , the dancer "Candy Cups" broke a "G STRING" and five Secret Service agents rushed onstage to help her fix it...Why cant I get mine replaced?... HOME BOY GOT IT GOIN' ON... ...The review panel ruled that Miss Cups was young and vital and had many years left, while the Raspberries were old and past there prime and would not be a candidate for "G STRING" replacement...Such are the ways of Obamacare... HOLY MACKAREL!!! ... At that point Eric refused to continue the reunion attempt..."I cant play with only 5 strings" ...to which Dave exploded, "I only play with FOUR strings...Paul McCartney plays with FOUR strings...MJ plays with FOUR strings...Even Darlene plays that stupid fiddle with only FOUR strings... DONT CALL NO FIDDLE STUPID-I LOVE DAT DERE JOHN DENVER ... But, Eric refused to "START OVER"...Just then shots rang out... LOOKEE HERE- THE COPS BE COMIN'... LET"S GET OUR ASSES BACK TO THE FREE CELLPHONE LINE..
  5. Which Bea is the hottest?

    From what I understand, on her deathbed, Griffith went to see her to iron out their differences and she refused his attempts...
  6. Which Bea is the hottest?

    8 years later and this question still BEAts on...
  7. Captivity-Week #1

    We'll, I'm still here...No thanx to James...My first week in prison and the only person who tried to help me was Muzza...After reading Kiwi's offer to lend Muzza to me, I demanded to insist on corresponding with the Chaplin...Things went a bit askew from there...After Muzza called the prison here in Maryland, he was confronted with press "1" for English, "2" for Spanish, etc...Press "27" for New Zealand was nestled between "26" for homosexual and "28" for lactose intolerant...At that point, the phone disconnected...The time had expired on the pre-paid long distance calling card that he had purchased at K-Mart...Since it was a Sunday, K-Mart in New Zealand was closed. The card could not be renewed...K-Mart(short for kangaroo mart in Down Under countries) always close on the Sabbath to give people there a day to recover from their Saturday night partying with their favorite sheep...Muzza tried Wal-Mart(short for Walla-mart) but they were closed as well... Instead, to meet my demands of a Chaplin, we were all shuffled into the video room and were treated to a Charlie Chaplin marathon...All silent movies...The only guy laughing hysterically was a guy sitting next to me...Come to find out, he was deaf and understood every Chaplin antic...I was wondering why this guy wasn't answering me when I asked him "What's so funny"?... he couldn't hear me!!! I don't understand-if blind people wear sunglasses all the time, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?...It would be a lot easier to spot them... I have been assigned a job in the prison graphics department, which came in handy...I made myself a big sign that said "Do Not Enter" and placed it over my buttocks at night when I went to sleep... Don't really need it anymore as I am pretty lucky...I now have the cell all to myself....Originally, I was sharing the quarters with a guy who was half Black and half Mexican...His name was Jesus Smith(pronounced Hey-Zeus Smiff)...By the looks of it, I bet his Black half was from the waist down...It's amazing how the mighty fall though...He was the creator of the new national craze in eateries, the Black/Mexican restaurant chain "Nacho Mama's"... He was imprisoned on rape, murder and kidnapping charges, so I felt pretty well protected...But, as fate would have it, his lawyer came in and got him released on the grounds that he is an undocumented immigrant and the judge agreed that he was free to go...He left behind a prescription vile of Xanax, which he was taking for anxiety...Realizing, that I may no longer be safe in prison without Mr. Smith, I grabbed the Xanax vile and took two of the pills...At that point,a security guard arranged to have my prison sentence doubled because I was in possession of a controlled substance(Xanax)...I tried, to no avail, to claim that I was an "undocumented pharmacist...But, again, fat, white guys have less rights than anyone in this country... I guess, overall, I am pretty lucky....I could have gotten "hard labor"...Some guys have to, every day, find the matching lids to over 200 different sized Tupperware containers...Talk about tough work... Lewisa has been allowed conjugal visits and has enjoyed sex with all the guys... Well, it's time to go to sleep for the evening...I wish I had those anxiety pills right now, because the guy in the next cell is starting to sing the old Johnny Cash classic "A Boy Name Lew"...I may find out tonite why they call this place "the pokey"... P.S....There are two times in your life when Eric Carmen music is not appropriate...One, is when you are in the middle of a relationship break-up and the other is in prison...Playing, Go All The Way, Let's Pretend, No Hard Feelings and Sleep With Me will definitely send out vibes that you don't want to be acknowledged...Although,I do have good news for Eric, the biggest requested song on the PBS(Prison Broadcast System) is a song that they tried to ban here in the clink, It Hurts Too Much...
  8. HELP!

    As some of you may or may not remember, a few years ago, I was imprisoned over in England by members of the "Sweet" family...Unfortunately, I am now in a Maryland jail cell and I need the EC.com members help...Let me give you the details... Late last year, I received a free ticket to see a football game in the Meadowlands in New Jersey...Not sure of the way there from my home in Connecticut, I decided to leave really early so that I could be on time for my friends pre-game "tailgate" festivities... As I drove, I started to daydream about the fun time that I would have when I suddenly saw a sign that said "Welcome To North Carolina"...I realized that I had gone too far...I turned the car around...I looked at the gas gauge and decided to get off the highway in Washington D.C. to fuel up... After filling up, I couldnt find the entrance to Interstate 95 again and got lost in our nations capital...After driving aimlessly around in a seedy neighborhood for two hours, I saw the flashing lights of a police car in my rearview mirror...Here is where the story takes a bizarre turn: I now give you a verbatim account of the scenario... LEW: Yes officer...Can I help you? POLICE: License and registration please... LEW: Here you go... POLICE: Where you going? LEW: To the Meadowlands to watch the New York Giants play... POLICE: Step out of the car, place your hands over your heads...You are under arrest for violating the law...It is a violation to say GIANTS...unusually tall people find that word to be offensive...You must refer to them by their new name" New York Unusually Elongnated People"... LEW: You've got to be kidding... POLICE: Who were they playing? LEW: The New Orleans Saints... POLICE: Another violation sir...The agnostics and atheists are offended by the word SAINTS...You must use the new name-New Orleans Spiritually Adorned People... LEW: Holy cow... POLICE: VIOLATION...you cannot use the term "Holy Cow" The Hindu's are offended because they believe Cows are reincarnated people and you seem to be mocking their beliefs... LEW: Officer, I was just going to a football gameto have a beer and a couple of hot dogs with sauerkraut... POLICE: Double violation...The people from PETA have complained that the term" hot dog" is offensive to animals and the German's got a court order against the word "sauerkraut" because it casts that nations peoples in a derogatory light... LEW: I was just cruising along listening to my new Eric Carmen Definitive Hits Cd and I get arrested for all these violations? POLICE: Eric Carmen?...I love his stuff...Layla, I Shot The Sheriff, Cream... LEW: No, no, no...That's Eric Clapton...Eric Carmen is the guy from Raspberries... POLICE: I know him...Power Pop...But, it sounded like music from one of those 50's street harmony guys... LEW: That was "Make Me Lose Control" There's an accapella part in the middle that sounds like doo-wop... POLICE: Another VIOLATION...You cant say doo-wop"..."WOP: is an insensitive term for Italian-Americans...You must say "doo-intricantly cohesive vocalization"... LEW: Oh boy!... POLICE: Violation...You cant say "boy" A desultory term to the African-American community...You must say" chronologically underdeveloped"... LEW: Can I make a phone call? POLICE: Yes, but only one... LEW: Hello?...Hello?...James?...Dammit...Voicemail...James is nowhere to be found...I just got stopped by a cop... POLICE: Alright...Lets go downtown...That's another violation...Drug dealers are offended that you use the word "cop"...That is their terminology for a drug deal...You must now use the:term "Constable on Patrol"... LEW: You didnt read me my rights... POLICE: You dont have any rights...You are a fat, old white guy and this is America... LEW: Sir...One question...Why did you actually stop me?... POLICE: Because this is Washington D.C. and you were driving on the "right" side...You must now be in the middle or to the extreme "left"... LEW: I guess my friends at EC.com have to help me...Contact James and tell him that I cannot come back here unless he comes to my aid...He is the only person in America that can defend my position...
  9. Oct.13

    I was sound asleep when I heard the cock crow...I glanced at the alarm clock and it indicated 6:a.m...I stretched and yawned a bit and then I realized-it was Oct. 13th...a special day...it was Tommy Tunes' birthday!!!...I had made plans to spend the evening with my friend TT and I was committed to do whatever he wanted....Suddenly, the cock crowed again(when, at 60 years old and the cock crows twice, it's gonna be a really special day, hey fellas?...)... I jumped out of bed, and leapfrogged over Lewisa(who had recently returned to me after King James had abdicated his throne here at EC.com)...As I knocked those little kernels of sand out of the corners of my eyes, I realized how no man is an island...I have been saving those little eye pebbles all my life in an effort to open my own little private beach...Just recently, I had layed down my whole collection of eye granite that I had been collecting in a jar and realized that I only had enough acreage to cover one blanket...So, if any of you members of EC.com want to send me your ocular mucus and help me with my. Beach project, I will grant you a lifetime membership to the paradise... Well, anyway, after work, I met TT at his favorite Karake bar, "the Off Key" and here is where the fun begins...Tommy loves to break the karaoke dj,s chops...He requested "Tom Sawyer" ...As the dj loaded the Rush song into his disc player, Tommy yells out and embarrasses the guy..."not that one, the one by Shania Twain,s brother -Mark". And he ends up being the only person laughing...This ball breaking goes on all night..."Can I sing the new one by the Stones", he yells out and when the unmistakeable Keith Richards guitar starts to crank, TT bellows, " not those Stones, ...Fred and Barney"... But, the grand finale is the best...Tommy excuses himself to go to the men's room and when he comes out, he has the grass skirt on-yes, that one, and performs Helen Reddy's, "I am Woman"... aAfter we are escorted out, we grab a cab and tell the driver that we are looking for some red hot Puerto Rican women and with a glow in his eye, the cabbie tells us that he will take us to the place where all the Puerto Ricans hang out...Much to our dismay, when we got there, the DMV was already closed for the day... Undaunted, we decided to go to the strip club...Club Penicillin. Drink time, before we get our lap dances, TT orders a couple of drinks to loosen us up..."two tetanus shots, please". Two black strippers, "chocolate and fudge" will be our lap dancers this evening... For all of you inexperienced people in the finer things in life, the stripper will sit on your lap and grind away for the entire length of one song...My stripper chose a medley of Maccarthur Park, Hey Jude and Stairway To Heaven while Tt's girl chose, Take This Job And Shove It"...All in all, a fun nite was had, but it's not too early to let you in on our plans for next years birthday celebration...As I informed you last year, this will be Tommy's big 60 party and one of you girls can make history...You can be the last chick to "have" TT" in his fifties or the first one to have him in his sixties...Let me know...All applicants will be interviewed by me and be prepared for a very hands-on, thourough, audition...Totally confidential, of course...
  10. HAPPY Birthday Tommy Tunes 10/13!

    I was sound asleep when I heard the cock crow...I glanced at the alarm clock and it indicated 6:a.m...I stretched and yawned a bit and then I realized-it was Oct. 13th...a special day...it was Tommy Tunes' birthday!!!...I had made plans to spend the evening with my friend TT and I was committed to do whatever he wanted....Suddenly, the cock crowed again(when, at 60 years old and the cock crows twice, it's gonna be a really special day, hey fellas?...)... I jumped out of bed, and leapfrogged over Lewisa(who had recently returned to me after King James had abdicated his throne here at EC.com)...As I knocked those little kernels of sand out of the corners of my eyes, I realized how no man is an island...I have been saving those little eye pebbles all my life in an effort to open my own little private beach...Just recently, I had layed down my whole collection of eye granite that I had been collecting in a jar and realized that I only had enough acreage to cover one blanket...So, if any of you members of EC.com want to send me your ocular mucus and help me with my. Beach project, I will grant you a lifetime membership to the paradise... Well, anyway, after work, I met TT at his favorite Karake bar, "the Off Key" and here is where the fun begins...Tommy loves to break the karaoke dj,s chops...He requested "Tom Sawyer" ...As the dj loaded the Rush song into his disc player, Tommy yells out and embarrasses the guy..."not that one, the one by Shania Twain,s brother -Mark". And he ends up being the only person laughing...This ball breaking goes on all night..."Can I sing the new one by the Stones", he yells out and when the unmistakeable Keith Richards guitar starts to crank, TT bellows, " not those Stones, ...Fred and Barney"... But, the grand finale is the best...Tommy excuses himself to go to the men's room and when he comes out, he has the grass skirt on-yes, that one, and performs Helen Reddy's, "I am Woman"... aAfter we are escorted out, we grab a cab and tell the driver that we are looking for some red hot Puerto Rican women and with a glow in his eye, the cabbie tells us that he will take us to the place where all the Puerto Ricans hang out...Much to our dismay, when we got there, the DMV was already closed for the day... Undaunted, we decided to go to the strip club...Club Penicillin. Drink time, before we get our lap dances, TT orders a couple of drinks to loosen us up..."two tetanus shots, please". Two black strippers, "chocolate and fudge" will be our lap dancers this evening... For all of you inexperienced people in the finer things in life, the stripper will sit on your lap and grind away for the entire length of one song...My stripper chose a medley of Maccarthur Park, Hey Jude and Stairway To Heaven while Tt's girl chose, Take This Job And Shove It"...All in all, a fun nite was had, but it's not too early to let you in on our plans for next years birthday celebration...As I informed you last year, this will be Tommy's big 60 party and one of you girls can make history...You can be the last chick to "have" TT" in his fifties or the first one to have him in his sixties...Let me know...All applicants will be interviewed by me and be prepared for a very hands-on, thourough, audition...Totally confidential, of course...
  11. HAPPY B'DAY LC 11/30

    I can't wish you a happy birthday because TT will get pissed because I didn't wish him a Happy Birthday yet...My "Happy Birthday " will remain in Happy Birthday Purgatory till I meet my requirement...
  12. John Waite

  13. Prayers for our Teresa Please

    Wow!!!...One tough cookie...
  14. British Re-Invasion

    The show was good...I'm not sure what's wrong with Marsden, but I hope its just precautionary...Sylvester was a fine replacement, although, in the show that I saw, he didnt sing any of the songs that he was the Hollies "voice" on....i.e. The Air That I Breath or Long Cool Woman...But your right, The Swinging Blue Jeans was a cool treat... At my show, Chad was relegated to two songs, with Peter Asher performing the Jeremy parts...They had a Skype camera set up, showing Jeremy at home, relaxing in his pajamas, watching and explaining his visa problems... Peter Asher performed the longest set...He is a very riveting chap, with a wonderful command of the English language, and armed with a charming collection of Paul Mccartney stories(his sister was the Beatles love partner in the 60's)...He did, Go To Pieces, I Dont Want To See You Again, World Without Love, a rousing Lady Godiva and Nobody I Know... Yeah, Billy J Kramer seems a bit arrogant and not at all smooth...His performances, over the many times that I have seen him, have always been "over the top" and "forced" and this was more of the same... There must be two different versions of The Searchers roaming around...I dont think that this is the same crew that I saw a few years back...But, these guys were fine..."Walk In The Room" is a real show stopper...I think that is a Jackie DeShannon tune... Dernny Laine closed the show...Two Moody Blues numbers, including Go Now and one of his solo songs that Colin Blunstone had a U.K. hit with and then a closing Band On The Run with all the previous performers joining him on stage...In recent times, Laine has had a real scratchy voice but he was much better this time... After the show, they had an autograph session and Laine was very chatty and friendly with Asher being the most guarded and reserved...Kramer was actually nicer than I expected... Great backing band and overall, a fun entertaining show...Wish Marsden was there as I havent seen him in over 20 years...Maybe, next time at the 100th British Invasion Reunion Tour... P.S....I always try to catch these kinds of shows...Something about them bring that warm and fuzzy feeling but also, there is a melancholy aspect to it as well... Its a fun experience, yet a sad one at the same time...Maybe, we are starting to look mortality in the eye and its the typical "time and tide wait for no man" syndrome... All in all, I would do it all over again...
  15. British Re-Invasion

    I saw the show the other night...Gerry Marsden was not on the bill...He is suffering from major health problems and not allowed to leave England...He was replaced by Terry Sylvester who was not originally on this show...Also, Jeremy, of Chad and Jeremy did not get his visa yet from our government and his place was taken by Peter, of Peter and Gordon...